"It doesn't feel like you're my friend right now," I say. "Your eyes are like daggers piercing through me."
She sits back and crosses her arms, which is my signal that she's mad.
"You told me that even if we kissed, I'd never lose your friendship," I say in the most gentle way I can.
"You're right," she says. For a split second, I think I've won this battle, but this is Laila Linder, so I know she just got started, and I'll never win.
"I'll admit," she begins, "I was curious about what it would be like to kiss you. Then you asked me to pose as your girlfriend. Then we kissed, and I'll admit this too: you do it quite well."
That makes me smile.
"No, no," she says. "Don't think that sexy smile is going to fix everything."
"You think my smile is sexy?" I ask, smiling even bigger.
"Ugh!" she exclaims, "You're infuriating!"
"Sorry," I say, "I'm listening."
"Sam, we were fine. We were enjoying our time with your family. We were being ourselves with each other. I thought we were getting closer and that our relationship was changing into something better. When you came home after the golf game, you were different. You were acting weird. You weren't touching me. It wasn't even the kissing, Sam. You've always found a way to make me feel special, and when I'm with you, I feel… I feel loved."
"You feel loved?" I ask, letting the words sink in.
"Yes," she says; her eyes are searching mine. Searching for what?
When I don't say anything, she gets up and says, "You frustrate the heck out of me, Sam."
"Where are you going?" I ask.
"I don't know," she says and walks away, heading toward the long hallway leading to the ladies' room. When she hasn't returned after five minutes, I look for my sister or someone to check in on her, but everyone's on the dance floor. I walk down the hallway and find Laila in a nook next to an emergency exit door. She's leaning against the wall with her arms crossed.
"Are you trying to make your escape?" I ask, looking at the door.
"It's locked," she says. "So much for it being an emergency exit."
I put my hand on the wall next to her shoulder and look at her. She looks back at me but doesn't smile.
"I want to leave," she says.
"Please don't leave," I say. "You're right. I've been a total jerk these last couple of days."
"Good. So you admit it. Now can you tell me why?"
"Because I'm a coward. I've been afraid to tell you what I feel. You're my best friend, and the thought of losing you sends me into a tailspin of uncertainty, fear, and depression."
"Why would you lose me?" she asks. "I'm trying to understand what is going on, but you refuse to talk to me. That makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong, and it makes me question the strength of our friendship. I don't want to lose you, Sam."
"I don't want to lose us," I say.
"Your eyes look so much more blue tonight," she says. "Maybe it's the shirt."
"Maybe it's you," I say.
"Sam, I—."
"Wait," I say, trying to summon the courage before it's too late. "Let me finish."
"Okay," she says, uncrossing her arms and reaching for my hand. "Talk to me."