"You don't want them now, but—."

"I don't want them at all," she said. "I want a career. I don't want to be tied to a schedule that revolves around children, day in and day out. They're high maintenance." She followed up the last part of her statement with a nervous chuckle.

"I thought you had changed your mind," I said.

"I thought so, too," she countered. "But when you proposed in there, all I could picture was a kid demanding all my attention. I realized I just can't. It's what you want, but it's not what I want."

She stood up and walked away, and I didn't follow her. Two weeks later, I was on a plane to New York, and I hadn't seen or heard from her since.

***

When we get home after the golf game, Laila and my sisters are still out shopping. I run upstairs and turn on my laptop. I have a new email from Patricia. Before opening it, I go into my trash folder and take a deep breath before opening the first email she sent.

Dear Sam,

I miss you. Your grandpa has kept my parents updated on what you've been up to all these years. You've accomplished everything you set out to do. I'm so proud of you.

Remember when we'd sit and talk about you being able to work from anywhere in the world? Sounds like you've made that happen. Greece? Wow!

I heard you bought an art studio in New York. I would love to see it one day soon.

I can't wait to see you at our class reunion. As an organizer, I'll contact you regarding the event and your RSVP.

I hope we can connect before the big day. I would love to be your plus one. If not, I'll attend solo, hoping you will too. Either way, save me a dance.

Sam, I've done a lot of self-reflection during the last few years. I'm ready for a family. My love for you has endured the test of time, and I hope your love for me has, too.

You were my first love, Sam, and I haven't loved anyone the way I love you.

Call me.

Patricia

The other six emails in my trash folder are similar. I delete them all before reading the new one in my inbox.

Dear Sam,

It was so good to hear your voice. You sound just like I remember.

I remember your voice whispering, "I love you," when we made love. When we couldn't be together, you told me you missed me and couldn't wait to see me.

Your voice hasn't changed, and I can't imagine your feelings have either.

I understand you're in a relationship. I've been in other relationships, too, in the last seven years, but you've always been there as a constant reminder of how good it can be. No one has ever compared to you.

Nothing has ever compared to what we had. Nothing will ever come close to the love we shared.

Please tell me you feel the same way. Let's try again. Our love deserves a second chance.

You were my first, Sam. I want you to be the last. Please give me another chance to prove to you how much I love you and how much I've changed.

I'm ready to get married and have a family. Please don't let our love slip through your fingers.

Love you,

Patricia

When I hit the delete key, I look up and see Laila standing in the doorway.