Page 50 of More Than Words

Yeah, I figured as much since one of the largest arguments of our marriage happened after I threw out the idea of adoption when trying to conceive wasn’t happening naturally. Along with the fingers he pointed when I suggested both of us seek fertility testing.

“But for her, he did the one thing he told me he never wanted. The exact subject that triggered him filing for divorce. He would do it for her, but not forme. What does that say about me? Where does that leave me? Why does he get his happily ever after and I don’t? You think it didn’t break me when we lost the first baby, then another, and then all the negative tests that followed? I thought I was barren.”

Her arms wrapped around me, her chin resting on my shoulder as she rocked back and forth.

“You can still have that, too.”

“Yeah. Okay,” I scoffed, knowing that the part of me that wanted a family had died out and my career had filled in the void.

“Women our age have babies all the time.”

“I don’t want to do this by myself.”

“Then don’t,” she whispered, squeezing me tighter. A tear tracked down my cheek and my chest heaved as I tried to swallow back the grief that had been building inside me for the last decade. “I’m here if you want to do this, obviously not with the whole dick-sperm part, but you know Auntie Leila will help teach your kid how to take over the world.”

“I want a partner,” I whispered brokenly while I leaned my head against hers, hating that I still held this weight on my chest over ten years later.

“So go find one,” she laughed. “Dickhead seems to be auditioning for the part. And you know he’d make pretty babies.”

“Oh, God. He is not father material.” But I wasn’t convinced that was true. From the parts of his personality he’d revealed to me over the last few months, he wasn’t what I originally thought he was. He could be kind and compassionate. If I let him in, would he make a good dad? Did he even want to be one? He was over a year older than me and remained a bachelor. But that didn’t necessarily mean anything. I wouldn’t know the answer to that unless I asked. Which meant putting myself out there.

And putting yourself out there was scary as fuck.

“Sometimes people surprise you.”

And as she rocked me from behind and I let the tears fall from my eyes, I realized she was right. Sometimes people surprised you and maybe it was time for me to open my heart again.

ADRIAN

Boston

As I settled into my cramped spot in the corner of the elevator, I scanned the faces entering the car, the corner of my lips rising when I saw a familiar pair of legs just outside the door. The hem of an ivory-colored skirt hugged every alluring curve of the woman I’d been eager to see since I left her apartment on Friday night.

Isobel pushed through the people surrounding the doors, squeezing inside the crowded car, and glancing over her shoulder, eyes widening when she saw me watching her. I couldn’t see from where I was trapped in the corner if she’d listened and left her panties at home, but I didn’t care. I was just excited to see her, especially knowing we had to sit through a staff meeting for the next hour, where she wouldn’t be able to escape me.

The crowd dissipated as the elevator stopped at each floor on its way to the eleventh until it was just the two of us remaining with three floors left to ascend, Isobel standing entirely too far away.

Deciding to tease her a bit, I stepped forward and placed my hand at her waist, enjoying the way her body shuddered at the small contact. “You listened.”

She nodded, surprising me by taking a step backward, her ass barely grazing the front of my pants. “I’d almost forgotten I had it.”

“I hadn’t,” I whispered, grazing my lips along the shell of her ear. I was barely touching her, but the contact was enough to awaken the erection I’d been literally trying to beat down for the last two days. “Did you do the other thing you promised?”

“You’ll just have to find out later,” she whispered, the tips of her fingers slowly grazing the material of my pants. It was truly astounding to me that such a subtle touch had me hard as stone and wanting to make poor decisions in an elevator car.

“Maybe I will.” My voice was hushed while I trailed my fingertips up the soft material covering her thigh.

“I hope so,” she breathed, laying her head back against my shoulder, and glancing up at me sideways. Fuck. Her attitude toward me seemed to have changed dramatically after my string of text messages this weekend. Part of me was scared it’d make her retreat into hiding again, but I was shooting my shot and if that meant letting my desperation for her show, I’d do it.

We parted ways in the lobby of the eleventh floor, my eyes lingering on her hips as she walked away, knowing I’d be worthless until lunchtime.

“The topic of this meeting is going to be a little different from what is listed on your agenda.” Sloane’s voice carried through the conference room in the same authoritative tone she typically had, but I was only partially listening as I gazed across the table, studying Isobel’s profile. I’d forgotten what our staff meeting was about, but was enjoying the view. “As some of you know. There will be some restructuring coming in the next few months within Vivid. You should have gotten the links from HR for the internal positions that will be opening late summer.”

The room filled with quiet murmurs, but my attention was focused squarely on Isobel and the way she kept doodling in the margin of her notebook. For some reason, I found it endearing that the romance department seemed to have a fixation on putting pen to paper. The advent of digital publishing had erased so many things that our predecessors treated as commonplace. I often wondered if sometimes the message got lost without that extra thought on whether to type or write the word.

Now we could produce finished books in a matter of months. It was astounding how prolific some authors of the past were, given that it took them years to get through the same process. Interns like Sam and Kristine didn’t know what it was like to wait a year or more for an author to finish a manuscript. The consumer demand for quick releases had changed the game immensely.

“I’ll need a few of you to stay back after we finish up. Isobel, Kate, and Adrian, we need to talk about the next steps with the lower-level positions opening. I believe you have some potential candidates within your groups.”

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