Page 72 of More Than Words

Smiling, I leaned down and whispered in her ear. “Gettin’ rid of me isn’t an option, Is. You’re definitely stuck with me.”

“I hope you mean that,” she whispered back, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.

“Hey.” Cupping her cheeks, I leaned in to kiss her forehead. It wasn’t like her to seem this overwhelmed by something. While I could still tap into my inner asshole when I wasn’t consciously trying to unmask it, I hoped I hadn’t done something to question my utter devotion to her. Being a boyfriend wasn’t something I’d done in a long ass time, but I thought I was doing a decent job of it, just without the official title. “What’s goin’ on in that head? We alright?”

Nodding slowly, she leaned back, bracing her hands behind her on the desk, putting space between us I didn’t like. But I wanted her to know I could listen to her, so I took a step back, ready to talk about whatever was bothering her. Distracting her with kinky sex would be fun, but it wouldn’t erase that look from her face either.

“I don’t want to sound needy,” she sighed, “But I need to know I can rely on you before I ask you this.”

“Of course, babe. You know I’ve got your back. Lay it on me.”

“Would you...” she trailed off. Whatever this was, it was making her hesitate.

I had a feeling this had something to do with the conversation Sloane had with the other department heads earlier in the week. The management structure would be changing after the copy-editing intern promotions were decided. We hadn’t really talked about it, but one of us, or both, would lose our interns, and even I recognized her viper had the potential to be a great genre head. It’d be weird to think of her as a peer, but I could keep my tongue if I had to.

“If this is about Sam and Kristine,” I started.

“No.” She shook her head, breaking eye contact to stare at my chest. “This is about me.”

“I’m not worried about anything happening at the office, Is. Sloane told us about her plans for the department.”

“It’s not that either,” she murmured. “Although she told me to keep quiet about the details of my future there until they have the contracts drawn up.”

Tilting her head back, I waited until she made eye contact with me. “I’m fuckin’ proud of you. You deserve whatever she offers you. Don’t be worried about me.”

She smiled, some of the hesitation draining out of the way she looked at me. “Thank you.”

“Now tell me what’s really bothering you.”

“I want to have a baby.” Her voice was quiet, but she didn’t avert her gaze this time, watching my reaction with guarded hope in her eyes.

If any other woman had uttered those words, I would have been formulating an excuse to get her out of my apartment, but not with Is. As I contemplated her confession, images of the future ran through my mind. I could see it—us going for it and starting a family together. I couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone else. It was a little sudden, but it’s not like we were twenty-five. We could do this.

“What are you waiting for?” I asked, knowing this was clearly something she wasn’t just saying on a whim.

“I don’t know. At this point, I’m probably too old to even try. And I don’t know how easily I’ll get pregnant. Two miscarriages and a year’s worth of negative tests make it hard to believe being a mom is something that will ever be in the cards for me. The last time I tried, it ended in divorce.”

A little line formed between her eyebrows, but I already knew that she’d been married before. The rumor mill in the office was thriving, and when I’d started, there were whispered conversations about her reverting to her maiden name.

“What do you need from me? I still don’t see this changing things between us. You don’t need to worry about me not wanting you.” The frown deepened, her head tilting back, but I grasped the sides of her face, forcing her to look at me. “I’m not gonna deny you something you want this much, Is.”

“With the changes that might be coming and an increase in travel and learning a new dynamic in the office, I don’t know if I’ll have time.”

“Those sound like excuses from someone who is scared.” Her eyes flared with annoyance, but she wasn’t going to use this to push me away.

“I’m not…”

“Don’t lie to me, Isobel. What do you want?” I could see the raw hunger in her eyes. And the more the idea of it sunk in, the more I wanted it too.

“I want what my parents have. I want a family.” She rarely talked about her family. I knew she’d felt isolated from them being halfway across the country, but I could tell she still loved them, even if they didn’t understand her need to follow her dreams professionally.

“Then what do we need to get there?”

Her chest heaved, clearly catching my intentional use of the word we. I wasn’t kidding when I told her she wasn’t getting rid of me.

“I already had some tests done. They didn’t see any reason why I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant or stay pregnant. I don’t know for sure, but I think my problems previously were with my ex, not me. He, uh... He adopted a baby recently, and...”

And she realized she might not be what was keeping her from having a child when she was married to him.

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