Page 128 of More Than Words

Pacing behind my desk, I waited for her to arrive, wondering what I wasn’t going to like about what she needed to tell me.

“Hey,” she whispered as she entered my office and closed the door.

“Hey.” Stepping toward her, I pulled her into my chest, sighing when she wrapped her arms around my back. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” she mumbled as she pulled away from me, looking down while nervously wringing her hands in front of her. She looked even more exhausted than she had been when I left this morning, and I just wanted to get Fin and take them both home.

“Can you pick Finley up from the daycare before you leave?”

Frowning, I tried to step toward her to tip her chin up, but she stepped back again. “Is everything okay? Did something happen today?”

She sniffled as she looked away, and I didn’t see any tears, but her expression had me worried.

“There is a dinner meeting with an author tonight, and Sloane said I didn’t need to go, but if I don’t go, then she’ll probably take me off the project, and I don’t want her to feel like I’m not doing my job…”

“Hey.” I grasped her shoulders, pulling her toward me and tucking her into my chest. “Slow down.”

“There should be plenty of milk in the cooler bag if you want to take her back to your place tonight,” she mumbled into my shirt. “If you don’t want me to go, I won’t, but…”

“Is.” I coaxed her face upward, using my thumb to wipe away a tear at the corner of her eye. “Why wouldn’t I want you to go to a business meeting? If you need to do this, don’t feel guilty asking me to pick up my own child.”

“But this was so last minute, and now I feel like I’m letting everyone down. Sloane shouldn’t have to do my job for me, and if this author doesn’t agree to the proposal, then why is she even keeping me around? This is important to Vivid, and it falls under my job description, and if I screw this up…”

“She’s keeping you around because you’re good at your job. You’ve just barely returned from maternity leave. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself.”

“And there’s another meeting on Monday in New York. Sloane gave me an out to stay here, but the author she’s meeting has been one of my authors for years, and if I don’t go and she backs out, I’m going to feel like this is all my fault.”

“Breathe,” I coaxed as I rubbed her back. “If you need to go to New York for a day, it will be fine.”

“I’ll be gone overnight,” she whispered, and tears pooled at the corners of her eyes. “I’d feel guilty leaving Fin for the first time for a work trip, and she still doesn’t sleep, and you need to work too, and it wasn’t supposed to be this hard…”

“Is, it’ll all be fine. We’ll figure this out. We knew travel was a part of this job and it’s only one night. You’ll be a few hours away. I’m not worried.” Returning her head to my chest, her body shuddered, and I ran my hand down the back of her head. “Are you coming back to my place tonight?” I asked, hating the way she still wasn’t coming to me for support. It shouldn’t upset her this much to let people help her.

“I don’t know how long this dinner will last.”

“That’s okay. I can handle picking Finley up and getting her settled for the night. Why don’t you spend tonight at your apartment so you can get some sleep after you’re done. Your job is important too. Don’t feel guilty for asking me to help.”

She stiffened in my arms, and I knew she was going to fight me on the suggestion, but her voice cracked when she spoke. “My job is the one thing I’m not supposed to be a failure at, but every day I’m gone I fall further behind.”

“Then let me help you.”

By the time she left my office with a promise to text later, she’d calmed down, but it was clear she was still trying to put on a brave face and do everything alone. Instead of dealing with her depression, she continued pretending to be strong, like I didn’t know she spent half the time crying.

At six o’clock, I took the elevator down to the second floor, making my way to the daycare we’d toured a few months ago. Finley was cleared by her pediatrician to start, but I had worried her first day might be a rough transition.

“I’m here to pick up Finley O’Neill. She’s in the infant room.”

“She was great today, a little fussy after she ate, but calmed right down once we put her in the swing. I’ll go grab her for you.” At least one person in our family seemed to be having a good day.

I felt like I was going through the motions as I gathered her things and headed toward the elevators. Thankfully, she stayed asleep while I clicked her car seat into place in the back seat of my car.

“I guess it’s just the two of us,” I whispered after I started the car, turning the radio on low so I didn’t startle her. “Sorry you’re stuck with Daddy for the night.”

She slept most of the way home, only waking up as I pulled her seat out of the car. It seemed she was just as out of sorts as I was, crying the entire ride in the elevator.

My apartment seemed rather depressing with the stacks of boxes covering a majority of the surfaces, but I was thankful I still had a freezer full of prepackaged meals.

“You hungry, Fin?”

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