Page 106 of More Than Words

Dr. Reeves wasn’t worried so much about the baby, but as my belly grew, my exhaustion started catching up with me again.

“Are you excited about this?” I asked Adrian for about the millionth time in the last forty-eight hours.

“Of course, I’m excited, babe. We get to see what it looks like now that it’ll look like an actual baby.”

“And you won’t be disappointed if it’s not what you want?”

“Babe,” he sighed, leaning in to kiss my temple. “I’m gonna love this baby no matter what gender it is.”

Nodding, I acknowledged what he’d been telling me for weeks, but I was still unsure why I’d had these fleeting feelings of unease. Personally, I was more worried about the baby. Worried that there was something wrong. I was so sick all the time that I had a hard time believing it wasn’t influencing its development.

Before I could start on a downward spiral, we were called back, ironically led into the ultrasound room they’d confirmed I was indeed pregnant in.

“Deep breaths, babe. Just focus on right now,” Adrian said, pulling me into a hug after we were left alone. “This baby already has an awesome mama, and I feel so blessed that I get to be its dad.”

Tears pricked in the corners of my eyes, and he gently brushed them away, leaning forward to kiss me softly before he helped me get settled on the exam table. Sometimes I felt like I didn’t deserve him, but I didn’t want to think about things changing between us.

ADRIAN

Boston

Isobel’s clammy hand shook in mine while we waited for the ultrasound tech to join us, and I hated I couldn’t do more to calm her fears about everything. This pregnancy had been much harder than either of us had anticipated, but I wouldn’t change a second of it because it’d brought us so much closer.

“Let’s take a peek at this little one, shall we?” The tech that joined us a few moments later was very upbeat, and it seemed to help settle Isobel’s nerves a bit as she tucked a towel into the top of her skirt and squirted the gel onto her exposed stomach. “Have we talked about whether we’d like to know the gender today? Since you’re twenty-one weeks along, we should be able to tell if the baby cooperates.”

Even though I wanted to know, I’d follow Is’s lead on this one. What I’d told her was the truth. I didn’t have a preference either way. My brother loved being a girl dad, and I was a little terrified to end up with a boy who’d be as much of a shit as I was growing up, but either would be good. Because it’d be a physical manifestation of my feelings for their mother.

“I’d like to know,” Isobel said quietly, squeezing my hand.

We’d heard the heartbeat a few times, but there was something entirely different about seeing that little flutter on the screen. Seeing physical proof your child was alive and growing was more intense than I’d expected.

“Wow,” Isobel breathed while the tech moved the wand around, taking pictures and measurements as she went, narrating the entire time. I was more focused on watching Isobel’s reactions, my heart swelling as every bit of awe I felt played out across her face as well.

We’d spent months dancing around it, but I loved her so much it physically hurt to watch her struggle. And this brief reprieve from the hard parts had my confession on the tip of my tongue.

“Looks like our little one isn’t shy. Are you ready for the big reveal?”

My heart pounded as I glanced between the screen and Isobel, nodding because I was too choked up to answer.

“While the baby is measuring a little on the large side for your date of conception.” I fought with the urge to hurry her along, impatient to find out what our baby was so we could start talking about names. “She looks perfectly healthy. Congratulations, you’re having a girl.”

Isobel’s eyes watered as she nodded, her lip quivering as she absorbed the news that we were going to have a little girl in a few short months. Blinking back tears, I leaned over, wrapping my arm around her back and kissing the side of her head.

“I’m going to print out some pictures for you to take home and then give you some privacy. I’ll forward the images along to your OB for your next appointment.”

Isobel clung to my arm as the tech let herself out of the room, tears streaming down her cheeks as soon as the door clicked shut.

“A girl,” she whispered, her hand settling on her gently rounded stomach that seemed to grow every day at this point. “We’re having a girl.”

“We are,” I whispered, kissing her cheek and letting my lips linger against her warm skin. “And I hope she grows up to be as fierce and gorgeous as her mama.”

She reached up, threading her fingers through my hair to hold my head to her cheek while her chest shook, and I hoped these were happy tears. Her emotions had been up and down the last few weeks, and I hated she was away for most of it. It had to be isolating for her to be traveling while she was like this, but I’d been so busy I couldn’t go with her even if I wanted to.

“Adrian, I…” Her voice cracked as it trailed off, and I knew I needed to be brave enough for both of us to confess how I felt about her.

“I love you, Is,” I whispered against her cheek, my hand joining hers, my thumb sweeping across her skin. I hadn’t been able to feel the baby kick yet, but I was looking forward to it. Being able to witness my baby girl moving and growing inside her.

Isobel whimpered, turning toward me, and staring into my eyes as her breath caught. I knew it was scary for her to confess her feelings for me, but I knew she felt the same way. “I love you too, Ad. So much it hurts sometimes.”

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