Page 115 of Bound By Words

“You’re right. I did. I thought you’d change your mind. And I thought I could be enough for you, but I was wrong about that, too.”

“We were doomed to fail because you lied to me. I was only ever honest with you about what I wanted in a partner.”

“I don’t want to get in a fight with you. You’ve made your choice. But you lied to me too,” she hissed, her tone accusing. “You never told me about the vasectomy. Ever. Not once.”

My jaw clenched at the ire in her voice. But it hadn’t been any of her business. Maybe that should have indicated how our relationship was doomed to fail because I’d never wanted to confide in her about it. She didn’t know much about my past. And I’d never shared with her about my parents and their toxic marriage.

“Because it should have been enough for you to know I was upfront about children being off the table. I shouldn’t have to justify or explain my life choices to you. Consent isn’t just about sex, Mar. You know this.”

Marisa took a deep breath, her hand sliding down to cradle her belly. I could tell I was stressing her out, but she knew I wouldn’t sugarcoat it. That wasn’t who I was. Not when we were together and certainly not after what she’d done.

“I told Grace everything when she contacted me after you left.” Her eyes were fixed on the floor at her quiet confession. “She won’t speak to me now.”

“Good. You manipulated her too. She didn’t deserve to be misled like that.” As much as I had trouble seeing it then, Grace had been just as violated by Marisa’s manipulations as I had. It didn’t change things between us because I had no desire to rope model for her again, but Grace didn’t deserve to shoulder all the blame. She made shitty decisions regarding the false information she was fed, but she thought she was helping in some warped way. I knew Grace had been adopted and had been in foster care for a long time before that, so I wasn’t sure if this fed into her abandonment issues.

“I thought he was yours,” she whispered. “I didn’t know.”

“Thinking and wishing are two different things. Does he know you thought his son was mine?” I nodded toward Grayson, who watched us from his seat in the corner of the room, sitting beside Emory. He didn’t seem upset by us talking, but he was concerned for his pregnant fiancée. I didn’t want to be callous toward Marisa purposefully, but I also wasn’t going to lie to her to make her feel better. She’d made some stupid fucked up decisions, and things could have turned out badly for her. Being poly, Grayson seemed to be a better fit for her because she technically hadn’t cheated on anyone, but she had lied to and manipulated her partners. I don’t know if I could have been so quick to forgive if I were in his position.

“He does. That’s why he extended the invitation for you to come tonight. He knew I wanted to apologize.”

“You could have picked a less dramatic way to do that. Kelly didn’t deserve to be blindsided by an ex with an agenda.” Kelly would have been justified if she’d asked to leave since we were lured here to please Marisa. It’d started her first experience at a party like this on a sour note. I didn’t want her to feel self-conscious about being here.

“I didn’t know you were going to bring another woman with you,” she whispered, and I clenched my jaw at the blatant jealousy in her tone. “You love her, don’t you?”

“I do,” I confirmed.

“And I saw you collared her? This early? Are you sure she’ll be enough for you?” Marisa’s fingers fell to the diamond choker at her neck, and I held back the snide comment about the public display of her relationship status. I doubted Grayson’s was a collar of consideration or protection, so she understood the gravity of what was hanging around her neck. In our world, a collar like the one she wore meant more than any ring on her finger.

I wasn’t sure how long she’d been involved with Grayson, but as far as I knew, she hadn’t been with him when our dynamic started. While I’d agreed to an open relationship, she also hadn’t told me about her other partners. Grayson might have been one of many.

“When you meet the right person, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known them.”

She nodded, reaching forward to cup my elbow. “I’m glad you found that. Truly. I am. But don’t do to her what you did to me. Let her go if you think she can’t meet what you need in a partner.”

Looking down at Marisa, I saw the damage I’d unintentionally caused. Some of it was because I saw the warning signs and ignored them, and some because she wasn’t honest with me. Kelly had already been upfront about things Marisa and I never discussed. I knew Mar had been upset by my arrangement with Grace, but she never told me that directly. There were no limitations when we agreed to allow play with other people outside of our relationship.

Not wanting to hurt Marisa’s feelings, I just nodded, but I already knew that the dominance I’d craved in a partner was starting to manifest in Kelly. I wouldn’t need to find it elsewhere. My sunshine still had a long way to go, and we’d need to figure out where she could train with a rigger in Chicago, but she was open and willing to do that for me. That spoke volumes about her intentions. Mar had never been interested in learning about bondage past letting me tie her.

“I’ll leave you alone now. Thank you for letting me apologize.” Marisa released my elbow and stepped back, rubbing her hand over her belly. She looked tired.

“Consider yourself forgiven,” I told her, “but I’m not likely to forget. Please learn your lesson and stop manipulating people to get what you want. It’s distasteful behavior, and you’re capable of better.”

Marisa nodded, sniffling and wiping the corner of her eye.

Unable to stand next to her anymore, I excused myself, walking directly from the room without glancing at Grayson. I wasn’t a fan of his behavior either, but he was willing to forgive her, so I wasn’t dwelling on anything except getting back to Kelly.

Emory silently fell into step beside me, and I appreciated that he knew I was done talking about Marisa. Kelly was everything I wanted in a partner, so I would no longer focus on the past.

As I turned the corner back into the living room, Kelly looked up, her fingers rubbing the center stone of her pendant as she made eye contact with me. I loved that she’d been doing that since I put it on her, unconsciously rubbing the stone when she thought of me. Not stopping until I reached her, I wrapped my arms around her waist, tucking my face into her neck, trying to calm down.

We’d been looking forward to tonight, and I wouldn’t let Marisa take that from me either.

“You alright?” Kelly whispered as she leaned into my embrace.

“I will be. Don’t let her ruin tonight.”

I closed my eyes, soaking in her presence until a loud throat-clearing drew the room’s attention.

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