Page 110 of Bound By Words

“Maybe tomorrow you can wear the plug while we’re at the party, and when we get back home…”

When she didn’t finish after a moment, I asked the question she was hesitant to ask herself. “You can fuck me?” She nodded, but we needed to work on her asking for what she wanted. “If you want to fuck me, Kelly, tell me.”

She leaned in toward my ear, her hand grasping the opposite side of my neck. “I want to fuck you after the party, Nathan.”

“Fuck,” I exhaled as I grasped her hips, turning her to straddle me.

“Not tonight,” she laughed, using her fingers to brush back my hair. “But I’m looking forward to it tomorrow.”

“Me too, sunshine.” And I meant that. Submitting to her that way would be more than fulfilling only her fantasies.

After relaxing on the couch for a few hours, I knew I needed to give her my gift as we got ready for bed. Ducking back into my playroom while she was using the bathroom, I pulled the little black satin pouch out of the drawer I’d hidden it inside.

I’d only collared one submissive before, not taking that commitment lightly. Still, even then, it may have been premature because she met someone else and dissolved our contract a few months later. I knew Marisa had wanted me to collar her, often commenting on other people at parties and even wearing a leather choker when we went out, but I never gave her one. It may have indicated she was ready to play, but it didn’t mark her as mine.

With Kelly, I wanted that commitment. Not because she was leaving, and I was grasping at ways to tie her to me—sometimes literally—but because she made me feel like I could form a lasting, loving connection with someone and incorporate play into it. I didn’t have to settle for someone who didn’t understand all sides of me, and I didn’t have to hide my desire to do that either.

She’d been open to learning new things. She’d even asked me about rope resources when we’d spoken about what I wanted in a dynamic, but the fact she wanted to look at training was sexy and such a green flag for me. Kelly wasn’t taking this lifestyle as a whim and was trying to see if she could fit my needs. For once, it wasn’t just about my submissive and me meeting their needs. She wanted to be a partner, and as a Switch, that was my deepest desire. To have someone crave fulfilling my needs as I did theirs.

It also didn’t hurt that the little peeks of Kelly trying to channel her inner dominant energy were sexy as fuck. I’d come so hard the other night when she had her hand over my mouth, using me for her enjoyment. I wanted more of that. I needed more of that, and for once, I didn’t have a lingering sense of apprehension behind my actions other than knowing that our time together in person would soon be interrupted.

Kelly was sitting on the edge of the bed when I walked back into the room, looking adorable in one of her slouchy sweaters and a pair of pink panties. The pair I destroyed hadn’t been her only one of that color, and I wanted to buy her an endless supply—so that I could continue to tear them off her body.

“You look a little lost, sunshine. Everything alright?”

Her gaze snapped to mine, a soft smile pulling at her lips. “I’m good. Just thinking about everything that’s happened in the last month. I don’t even feel like the same person anymore.”

The bed bounced lightly as I sat beside her, the black satin pouch tucked into my pocket. Kelly leaned her head against my shoulder and sighed, and I finally realized that I didn’t feel like the same person I was before I met her. This change had been coming for months, and her getting stuck in that hotel room door had been the catalyst.

While she was eager to jump into our dynamic to learn about this lifestyle, I didn’t want to be egotistical, thinking it was only so she could be with me, but I knew it was part of it. Something between us made us want to do things we’d had difficulty doing with others. I’d always hesitated to let anyone get too close, even in my dynamics, so I’d structured my interactions to make excuses to keep people at a distance on a personal level. Kelly had thrown herself into her career to avoid having to focus on the future, effectively shutting herself off as well.

“I don’t feel like I’m the same person either,” I admitted, grasping her hand. Her fingers were soft and warm in my hand, their weight helping to ground me. This was fast, but I knew it was the right decision. “I’ve got something I want to give you.”

Her eyes snapped to mine as she shifted sideways to look directly at me. “Should I be worried?”

Humor was her shining trait and her ability to make people smile. I knew she didn’t think anyone took her seriously because of it, but it only made me more drawn to her.

“I hope you’re not. I’m not,” I confessed. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the pouch, using my finger to open the drawstring. “Typically, this wouldn’t be something brought up this early in a dynamic, but I don’t want to wait for some predetermined time. How I feel about you can’t be validated because some measure of time is deemed appropriate. We can work our way up to a more permanent one, but I didn’t want to wait to give you a symbol of my commitment.”

Kelly’s breath caught as I raised my hand to her face, my knuckle tracing over her cheekbone lightly.

“Do you remember what we talked about during the card game about collaring? When you asked me about types of collars and what they meant?”

She nodded, her eyes wide, but her fingers gripped mine, so I knew she was listening to everything I was saying.

“We don’t have to go to that party tomorrow with you collared if you don’t want it, but…” Pulling my hand from her grasp, I opened the pouch and dumped the contents into my other palm. “I want you to have this collar of consideration to symbolize what you mean to me and what we’re working toward. I meant it when I said you were precious. There isn’t any pressure to wear it tomorrow. You can put it on when you’re ready, but I want you to know I’m devoted to this and don’t want this relationship to be temporary. I know I told you that initially, but I wasn’t completely truthful because I feared rejection. So this is a physical reminder and a promise of my commitment to you on this journey.” And something she could take with her to remember me when she left.

When I looked up again, Kelly’s fingertips were pressed to her mouth, her eyes glistening as she stared at the small pendant in my palm. The tiny diamond mounted in the gold of the sun charm glittered slightly in the dim light cast by the lamps on my nightstands.

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered, reaching forward to trace the outer edge of the mandala design. It was an intricate openwork sun surrounded by a crescent moon, with a single diamond in the center. I’d chosen a thin leather cord for the short necklace, with a gold hoop in the center that the pendant hung from.

It wasn’t as blatant as some got with their collars, resembling more of a day collar, but it was clear what it meant to anyone looking. Kelly was committed to a Dominant, and no one would approach her to play as long as she wore it.

“There’s no pressure from me, but it’s yours. We can go to that party tomorrow, and this will put you under my protection. I want you to wear this as long as you want to keep exploring this dynamic with me,” I whispered as I turned her palm over and placed the pendant inside, closing her fingers over it. Her forehead creased with emotion as I looked back into her eyes, and watched as a single tear tracked over her cheek, my thumb catching it before it could fall any further. “I don’t want you to cry, sunshine.”

She sniffled loudly before opening her hand and pushing it back toward me. I had a momentary surge of panic as she offered it back.

“Please put it on for me.”

---