Page 57 of Bound By Words

“Because that means I failed in meeting her needs, or she felt uncomfortable with me to the point of breaking. I pushed something past what she was comfortable with, and she needed it to stop immediately.” Using a safe word had rarely happened for me, but sometimes, things came up in a scene that neither of us had expected. Sort of like when Grace decided to ambush me. Which I still needed to talk to Kelly about. And, explicitly, ‘the vasectomy.’ It just hadn’t come up yet.

“But what if she didn’t know it was a limit?”

“That’s what safe words are designed for, to stop something you didn’t anticipate. It should always be there to use, but if your play partner disregards your agreed-upon boundaries, they don’t respect your dynamic or relationship. Pushing things to that point because of poor planning isn’t acceptable. At least not to me.” Emory had taught me to try to anticipate every aspect of a scene. It was better to over-plan than to get myself or my submissive into a situation that would damage our dynamic.

“You like to be in control, don’t you?” From the calculating way she watched my reactions, it was easy to tell that she was studying me.

“Sometimes,” I shrugged.

“And other times?” Some of her questions almost felt like an interrogation, but I was pleased she initiated conversations like this.

“I crave the release someone else can grant me. Sub-space is like a shelter for me. A place where I can let everything go. Let someone else take the reins for a while. It’s kind of like a euphoric release where your mind floats. It’s different for everyone, but it can be intense and addictive. I’ve usually only been able to get there when I’m bound.”

She nodded, picking up her notebook and writing something down. It almost reminded me of how Chase documented everything when she observed play parties, but I wasn’t telling Kelly that.

“And that’s what you want from me? To be able to provide that for you?”

Nodding, I switched feet and smiled at how she arched her back as I dug my thumbs into her sole. “Only if that’s what you want.”

“And if I don’t?” I held my breath, studying her face. She hadn’t indicated she was opposed to switching roles within the dynamic. I’d already told her I was a Switch during our weekend together. She knew I wasn’t only a Dominant player in this lifestyle.

“That’s what you need to figure out,” I replied evenly. “This isn’t just about me and what I want. What you want matters, too. This won’t work without both of us getting what we need.”

She nodded, letting me continue to massage her feet as she returned her focus to the tablet.

When her stomach grumbled twenty minutes later, I knew she’d been neglecting herself.

“Did you eat lunch while I was outside today?” This would be the real test if this kind of relationship would work. The subtle ways a soft Dominant helped their submissive take care of themselves. Would she think I was annoying for reminding her to eat or stay hydrated? Play depleted a lot of energy from your body, so you needed to be well-rested, well-fed, and hydrated.

“I must have forgotten,” she grimaced as she reached over to place the tablet on the edge of the coffee table.

“You need to be taking better care of yourself.”

She squinted at me with her head tilted to the side as she gauged my intentions. “Are you trying to act like my father now? Should I call you Daddy?”

A low growl built in my throat as I stood from the couch, her feet falling to the empty cushion as I ran my hands through my hair. “First, yes, you do need to take better care of yourself. I expect you to eat regular meals and drink enough water every day to avoid being dehydrated.”

She giggled, swinging her legs around to sit up. “You’re easy to get wound up.”

“This isn’t funny, and second, please don’t call me Daddy. That’s not an honorific I like to use.“ I knew she was baiting me, but that word pushed a button inside my brain that made my skin crawl.

“Okay,” she nodded. And I knew before she opened her mouth what she would ask next. “Are you going to tell me why?”

Closing my eyes, I exhaled, knowing the explanation would take a while, and we needed to figure out dinner. “Let’s just say I have some daddy issues and revisit this topic at a later date.”

“But you will tell me?”

I nodded. “Once you’re ready to tell me more about what’s going on with your fertility issues.”

“Oh,” she nodded, looking at her lap. “Is that…? I mean…”

“Relax, sunshine. I didn’t mean this was a tit-for-tat, but I don’t think you’re ready to dive that deep yet.”

She gave me another jerky nod in response, avoiding eye contact. “Is that going to be a deal-breaker for you? Me not being able to have children?”

“Look at me.” She hesitated, pulling at a loose thread on her shirt. “Kelly.”

Tears were in her eyes as she looked toward where I was standing. “Just tell me now if it is.”

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