Page 55 of Bound By Words

“Then I can’t be like that with you.”

Walking away from Nathan or him walking away from me was the last thing I wanted at this stage, but I could see where he was coming from.

“You could try to have a vanilla relationship with me.”

“No…” He shook his head, placing a finger under my chin and tilting my head so I’d look at him. “I know what I need in a sexual and romantic relationship, and I’ve matured enough to know that a relationship that neglects to meet all my needs is doomed to fail.”

“Then what happens…?” when I go back home, and you forget about me.

“If our dynamic ends, it’s because you aren’t getting what you need from me or don’t trust me. Neither of those lends well to a romantic relationship.”

Thinking about the end of this before we’d even begun was like a knife to the heart, and I felt myself getting a little choked up thinking about it. “So, it’d be over?”

He nodded. “It’d be over.”

“Oh.” My breath caught as a single tear escaped my eye before I could stop it.

“Hey,” he whispered, pulling me forward and tucking my head beneath his chin. “Sunshine, stop, don’t cry. I’m not going into this saying it has an end, but if being with me romantically, or as your Dom, or even if you decide you’d like to switch—which I would be thrilled with, by the way—is too much for you to handle, then we need to stop trying to force it. It’d kill me if you resented me. It’d kill me even more if something I did made you hate yourself or me.”

“This is more intense than I thought it’d be,” I whispered, feeling calmer as I listened to the steady beat of his heart.

“It is intense,” he agreed. “But it’s also what I need. And I can’t pretend to shut off that part of myself, even for you. Even if I find myself falling…”

His voice trailed off, but his heart started to pound as the quiet drew between us. I was already beginning to fall for him, too. I knew it was fast and likely to blow up in my face, but this thing between us was about more than just how our bodies fit together. I felt different with him, more than I’d ever felt with anyone else.

“You find yourself falling?” I whispered into his shoulder, afraid to look at him.

“For you,” he sighed. “You have to know that. It’s part of why I walked away from you after the wedding. I wanted you and had some very serious feelings by the end of that weekend, but I knew it wasn’t fair to try to keep you.”

“You’re making it hard for me to resist you,” I whispered, reaching a finger up to trace the smooth skin of his neck where his beard ended.

“Then you’d better start reading because I’m going to need that list from you sooner rather than later,” he chuckled. “But seriously, take as much time as you need. I’ve got a checklist printed out for you and a list of websites I want you to read through. You can also ask me anything. I’m an open book.”

“So, bossy,” I giggled, leaning up and blowing out a stuttering breath as I made eye contact with him.

He smiled, reaching up to cup my cheek. “You don’t even know. Not even a little bit, sunshine.”

Leaning into his touch, I nodded. “But I’d like to.”

“That’s a good start, but first, you figure out what you need from me, and I’ll see if I can deliver.” His thumb trailed across my bottom lip, and I blinked, trying to keep myself from melting into a puddle of goo in his lap.

“You’ve already delivered plenty,” I winked, trying to return to the playful banter we’d shared.

Nathan shook his head, his eyes rolling as he caught onto my game. “Such a dirty mind, Kelly.”

“Such a dirty mouth, Nathan.” I wiggled my eyebrows, and he laughed, pulling me forward into a sweet kiss that seemed to seal our agreement.

NATHAN

Connecticut

Despite all her avoidance of telling me why she was here initially, Kelly proved to be a very dutiful and dedicated student. She’d spent the last few days tucked into the corner of the couch, spending her free time studying the long list of websites that I’d compiled for her.

We ate most of our meals together, spent the nights talking about ourselves and getting to know one another—avoiding anything potentially sexual, of course—and while I went out to continue clearing the foundation between breaks in the weather, she studied like she was preparing to take an exam.

I hadn’t expected her to dive into the subject with quite the enthusiasm she had, but it was making it hard to keep my hands to myself. Seeing her completely absorbed in learning about my lifestyle was sexy as fuck.

“Are you ever going to show me your checklist?“ she asked, stretching her leg across the couch cushion separating us, trailing her toes against my thigh.

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