Page 125 of Mark my Words

“I doubt that. I didn’t realize you two had the self-control to do things separately.” I smiled, only a fraction of my typical sarcasm present. I couldn’t help noticing how she seemed softer around the edges lately. Chase was never an outright bitch like I tended to be, but she hated how some genre editors, Adrian included, treated her just because she wrote romance novels.

She invariably came into the office armed with quick wit and always had Isobel to back her up if needed. Still, I’d noticed she seemed much more content since she’d started spending most of her time in the middle of nowhere Connecticut with her husband-to-be.

“Ha-ha, you think you’re so clever. He’s fine. He’s gotten so much better at being around crowds in the last few months, even all by himself, like a big boy.” She paused, a sly smile pulling at her lips. “So, how’s Sam?”

My fingers stopped tapping at the corner of my desk as I narrowed my eyes in her direction. She either knew something, or she was fishing. Which one of those was debatable.

“Why would I know how Sam is? If you hadn’t noticed, he doesn’t work here anymore.”

“Someone sounds defensive.” Her posture was relaxed as she leaned back in her chair, unaffected by my tone. “I just figured you might know since you spent the night with him after my engagement dinner.”

“Where did you...?” The smirk on her face answered for her. “Kelly,” I sighed, knowing that she’d seemed closer to Sam while we were in Minneapolis, and I’d made a total idiot of myself thinking they were dating. “...but?”

“How did my future sister-in-law find this out? Well, she had to comfort poor heartbroken Sam the six-hour ride back to Chicago after you wham, bam, thank you ma’am‘d him.”

“I doubt he was all that heartbroken,” I muttered. I may have cried the entire shuttle ride to the airport—and most of the plane ride home—but I was sure he was finally glad to be done with me. Some days I was done with myself, or at least the person I’d been before him. She was a lonely, defensive, and sometimes horrible person, but I didn’t want to be her anymore. I couldn’t return to that, but I didn’t know how to move on either.

“What the hell is going on with you?”

I blinked hard, realizing I’d probably been quiet for more than a moment. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. I can tell from here that you’re not. But I don’t understand why you’re being so freaking stubborn still. I thought seeing him would finally put things in perspective for you. Evan and I...”

“What? What does that even mean?” I interrupted.

“You think we didn’t notice how you acted the last time we were in the office? Do you think Isobel didn’t notice how...not hostile...you’ve been toward Adrian since the book tour? She said you’d completely lost your fire. She was worried it was the job, but Evan and I saw the two of you together for weeks, so I knew it wasn’t that. The night Evan proposed, you and Sam seemed so in sync. Then when I heard he was leaving and we saw you acting like a zombie afterward, I knew something must have happened. I tried to ask Is, but she’s got her own shit going on right now—anyway, back to you. What’s going on?”

“Why do you even care? I don’t work for Is anymore. I’m not working on your new series. You don’t even like me.” I hated being a Debbie downer, but I knew what people thought of me. Unfortunately, I’d been left with the gossip mill speculating about Sam’s abrupt departure and my refusal to acknowledge his existence before he went.

“Seriously?” She sat back in her chair, one perfectly groomed eyebrow arched as she shook her head. “We’re back here? I thought we’d finally become friends over the last few months, and you’re pushing me away now too? Doesn’t it get old keeping everyone at arm’s length?”

“You think I don’t know what people think about me?” I hissed, getting defensive, even though I knew she wasn’t trying to back me into a corner. “You think I don’t know what everyone thinks about the fucking office ice queen with her frozen solid heart? I heard the whispers for weeks. They thought Sam and I had gotten together on the tour but then dismissed it because he’d never possibly be interested in me. He was too nice for a bitch like me.”

“Oh, come on. That’s bullshit,” she laughed. “Calm the fuck down and talk to me.”

“About what? About how I screwed up my life and pushed away the only man I’ve ever loved over my fixation with a stupid job? How I don’t really like this job I wanted so badly if he isn’t here? Is that what you want to talk about?”

“Well, yeah. That is what I want to talk about. You think I haven’t seen this all play out on the page a million times?”

“I’m not one of your characters, Chase.” I snapped back, hating that I really did sound like one of her characters.

“Yeah, you’re right. If you were one of my characters, you’d get off your ass and onto a plane to get your man.”

“Isn’t it the male characters who always swoop in at the last moment and throw down some grand gesture to win back the girl?”

“Fuck that. Women can screw up too. Let’s face it, you don’t exactly make it easy for anyone to get close to you. Maybe finally telling him how you feel will fix things,” she shrugged. “Maybe it won’t, but you’ll never find out if you don’t try. You wrote him a goodbye note. He thinks you’re done. If you’re not and you do love him, it’s on you to tell him. He’s not a mind reader.”

“He’s the one who left.”

“And did you give him any other option? You didn’t ask him to stay. Is told me how savagely you cut him out before he left. You ran away from him in Minneapolis. I’m guessing Sam had no idea when he took that job he meant anything more to you than just a disposable fling.”

“I don’t even know where he lives. Am I supposed to show up at the Chicago office and make some obnoxious public declaration in front of all his new coworkers? Isn’t that how it works for all your male leads?”

“Fuck you. My readers love a happy ending,” she giggled, taking a business card out of her pocket and placing it in front of me on the desk. “That’s his address. But he won’t be there this weekend.”

“And you know this because?”

“Because Kelly hates seeing him being so pathetic, and you need a kick in the ass. So here I am,” she spread her arms out as she sat back. “Kicking your ass. Flip the card over. That’s where he’ll be if you take this.” I frowned as she leaned down and pulled a long white envelope out of her bag, thrusting it in my direction. “And finally get your shit together.”

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