Page 132 of Foreplay on Words

“Call him!”

My phone was back in the hotel suite; I hadn’t thought I’d need it tonight and had no pockets in my dress.

“About that...” Sam held up a familiar iPhone and cringed. “Adrian asked me to hold this for Evan until the end of the night.”

“Frick me!” We both looked over at Kristine’s outburst, and she shot us a death glare that warned us not to say anything.

“So, he’s gone?” Panic started to swell in my system. Evan was gone, and we had no way to find him. He had a history of major anxiety issues and sometimes even panic attacks. I hadn’t seen him have a bad one, but he was alone. What if something happened to him?

“I’m sure he’ll come back once he’s calmed down,” Kristine assured, but she had no idea. Evan retreated into himself if he felt any sort of stress.

As I looked toward the doors he’d fled through, wondering what was going through his head, I wasn’t so sure it’d be that simple.

Evan

Boston

I paced the hallway outside the ballroom, taking deep breaths and trying to calm myself. I hated that I still got like this when I was forced to interact with people I didn’t know. Chase, our friends, and even Adrian and Sam didn’t freak me out. I knew them, they knew my limits, and they respected me.

The press and the execs had no idea I had issues with anxiety. I preferred to keep them in the dark and let them assume that my seclusion was simply part of my artistic mystique rather than I was prone to having panic attacks in large groups and generally had trouble looking people in the eye. I’d always hated crowds.

When I was sixteen, Kelly teased me relentlessly when I didn’t want to go to Disney World. My dad had understood, though, and he had taken me to a therapist to get some anxiety meds. We also researched the weeks when the parks were least crowded and went then.

It still made me nervous, but I’d been able to push through because my family was supportive. Even Kelly stopped teasing me once my parents had explained the situation to her.

Chase understood my need to walk away sometimes and wasn’t upset. Being with her the last few months had been simultaneously the most stressful and easiest thing in the world. She pushed me to want to step outside my boundaries, but she understood when I told her no. Not that it’d happened often.

I’d never had anyone who got me as she did.

“Shit. Get a hold of yourself,” I muttered as I shook out my arms and took a few deep breaths, letting them out slowly. Counting my breaths always seemed to help calm me, so I started slowly and gradually got myself under control enough to go back inside.

“Hey man, you doing okay?” Sam asked as he approached me from the doors to the ballroom.

Sam was a good guy. He connected with Adrian on all the fitness stuff, and initially, it made me think he was a younger model. I’d come to learn he was an intelligent and thoughtful guy. He’d been working with me on minor editing before Chase, and now Sam and Kristine were in regular contact with both of us.

“I think I’m alright. I’ve definitely felt better, but I’ll manage.” My chest didn’t feel quite as tight now that I was out of that crowded room.

“My sister has some anxiety issues. Take your time. I can run interference with Adrian.”

“Thanks,” I told him sincerely. I appreciated people who supported you and didn’t try to jump in to fix things.

He headed toward the doors and gave me a quick nod before returning inside.

Take a deep breath in, deep breath out. In... out...

“You can do this.”

Once I felt calm, I walked slowly toward the door and opened it, scanning the room as I stood there. To the left, beside the bar, stood Adrian, talking to his boss, Sloane. He made eye contact and subtly signaled to me with his hand. I nodded and swung my gaze to the other side of the room.

Chase was standing with Nathan beside her. I took a moment to admire the expanse of exposed skin across her back. Her dress dipped down to her lower back, and I ached to touch her skin when we were finally allowed to leave. I’d been sneaking in subtle touches all night, and the feel of her skin on my palm had helped me stay calm.

She shifted her weight, and her posture changed, becoming more defensive, and from what I could see on his face, Nathan looked upset. I tried to see who they were talking to, and then Chase moved over a step, and she came into view.

“Fuck.”

Simone stood opposite Chase, looking every bit the polished, entitled, condescending bitch she’d been when I last saw her two years ago.

My heartbeat picked up, and I felt my palms break out in a cold sweat as she looked up with a sly smile, making eye contact with me. She said something, and Chase laughed. It didn’t look particularly humorous, but it threw me, nonetheless.

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