Page 64 of Tempting Fate

The double doors that lead to the chapel swing open, then shut, and I spy Cub in the office. He’s typing away on his laptop, a frown line marring the lightly freckled skin between his eyebrows. His rust-coloured hair stands on end. Easy-going even when he’s stressed and never one to pry, Cub is the least likely to lecture me about fighting with Zeke, so choice made, I take a step toward the still-swinging double doors.

“Come the fuck over here and tell me what’s got you so worked up.” Slash wraps an arm around my waist and uses it to steer me and my fresh drink away from the chapel. Knowing that it’s useless to argue when he’s on a mission, I abandon my plan to seek out Cub and allow Slash to direct me to a private table in the far corner. “I’m all ears… can’t wait to learn the inner workings of my best friends’ relationship… especially all the dirty bits. Your man is a sexy beast. His game is legendary. I can’t have him puttin’ me to shame now.”

Although he’s joking, his teasing hits too close to home. A second after my arse hits the seat Slash pulls out for me, I fume out loud. “Why don’t I just give you an itemised list of all the things that have me worked up? It’ll be easier for you to keep up that way.”

“Hit me with it, Cherub… I have broad shoulders.”

I hold up a finger as I announce my first point.

“My psycho ex... whatever he is... is back. He had me kidnapped, then tried to rape me...” Trailing off as I realise what I just admitted, I peer at the wall over his shoulder to avoid his eyes.

“That’s a short list.” Slash nudges my knee with his. The look he gives me as he worries the snake bite piercings in his bottom lip with his tongue is resolute and filled with ill-concealed anger. His voice shakes as he tries to lighten his tone to a more jocular level to quip, “It’s also light on the sexy times.”

“Well, I hate to disappoint, but sexy times haven’t exactly been on the cards.” Lifting a second finger as my lie lingers like a foul taste on my tongue, I swallow down the guilt that I feel over my threat to screw around on Zeke to continue my rant. “I’m drowning in pity, and I’m scared Sander’s going to relapse when he gets back and discovers what happened.”

A third finger joins the other two as I announce, “Dad’s playing games. Gaslighting me and Zeke, trying to drive a wedge between us—he’s also treating Charlie like shit.”

My chest heaves as Zeke’s downcast expression enters my head.

I add a fourth finger to the other three before I splutter, “The worst part is that my fiancé went soft when he tried to fuck me—all because I have more bruises from Alex than I realised… then I told him I’d screw someone else to make him hurt in the same way his rejection hurt me.” The awareness that I’ve said too much hits me like a tonne of bricks. “Shit. Don’t tell Zeke I said that.”

Of course, the blond butthead just smirks. I shake my head and empty my glass in one scull. Slash raises his eyebrows, wiggling them at me, with dark humour all over his face.

“That’s quite a list.” He lifts his eyebrows again, the stainless-steel bar through his right eyebrow glints in the fluorescent lighting in the main bar. “But still no dirty bits. I’m offended that you won’t share with me.”

“God, you’re an idiot.” A genuine burst of laughter erupts. When it stops, I pat his forearm. “Thank you for trying to distract me.”

“I live to make you happy.” He affects a half bow and doffs an imaginary hat at me. As his expression becomes sober, I close my eyes to block out the pity I know is coming. “I’d be lyin’ if I said I wasn’t glad you finally came clean to Venom about what happened last night. I didn’t believe your shitty story for a second. Neither did anyone with more than two functionin’ brain cells… which excludes your bastard father from that list.”

Reopening my eyes, I stare at him as I attempt to decide whether I should punch him in the face for being so blunt or crawl into his lap for yet another cry fest. Since he’s known me my entire life, Slash can read me almost as well as Zeke can, so he makes the decision for me by pushing his chair back from the table and opening his arms wide.

After I’m perched on his lap and I’ve snuggled into his broad chest, he closes his arms around my upper body. I allow the sobs that have been choking me to erupt. It’s stupid. I shouldn’t have any tears left to cry, yet as Slash strokes my back, I manage to dampen the shoulder of his shirt.

In his no-nonsense tone, he tells me, “You’ve gotta cut everyone some slack, little Cherub… but most of all, you’ve gotta cut yourself some slack. Every brother in this club, related by blood or oath, loves you to death. Sure, some of them are a little pissed off that you’ve brought us heat from the Maddison’s again, but on the whole, they’re fuckin’ heartbroken that we couldn’t keep you safe.”

Slash rocks me as my sobbing intensifies.

“Has it ever crossed your mind that you could stop pretendin’ to be made of titanium and lean on them, too? I love being part of your inner circle, so does Toker… it’s just, when you’re finally ready to accept help, everyone will pitch in to keep Sander clean. We can all help Venom find Alex too, so he can put a bullet in his head.”

“I don’t know?—”

He speaks over me. “Like we should’ve done four years ago…”

The way he leaves the rest of his sentence unsaid speaks volumes.

It wasn’t my decision to keep Alex alive back then. The blame for that falls on my dad’s shoulders. Once he’d stolen the president’s patch from Hades, he told the Shamrocks that he deemed it too risky to take out a government official’s son over a “relationship gone bad”, which was an explanation that helpfully excluded his arrange marriage machinations behind the scenes from the narrative. And, even as the public campaign being waged by the Kingsleys and the Maddison clan started to wear me and the club down, my father refused to change his mind. He wouldn’t take it to church so the brothers could vote, he wouldn’t sanction payback of any kind beyond a temporary truce with the Maddisons and the receipt of a financial boon from them. When Alex released the photographs of Sander using drugs at one of the paddock parties right before the season commenced, Dad continued to exercise uncustomary restraint.

And I didn’t kick up a stink.

I should’ve.

I could’ve.

I didn’t.

Now, in the wake of Dad’s strange behaviour and Alex’s early release, I can’t help but feel like I let everyone down.

Lockdown, and all the inconvenience and disruption it entails, could’ve been prevented if I was strong enough to fight for the payback I was owed back then.

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