Page 60 of Tempting Fate

My heart drops to the bottom of my stomach.

This is what I was afraid of happening once he knew the truth about me and Alex.

“Yeah, okay.” I swallow hard, trying to hold back my tears as I dismiss him. “I’ll see you later then.”

Rolling under the bedspread, I pull the blankets over my head. Concealing myself. Hiding from the truth. My heart flip flops, expanding with the agonising recognition of my new reality, painfully shrinking the space in my chest. My stomach churns. I want to disappear. I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to go back twenty-four hours and wait for Zeke at the office instead of believing the text telling me to head home alone.

Although my eyes burn, I ignore it.

I refuse to allow Alex another tear.

For a moment, I’m strong, then the sound of Zeke doing up his belt buckle makes the unwanted tears spill down my cheeks.

He’s disgusted by me.

He’s going to leave.

Alex has won.

10

VENOM

“Lily. Look at me,” I demand, pulling the covers off her head once my belt is fastened. “Sweet thing, don’t cry.”

My woman rolls away from me, stopping when she reaches the far side of the mattress. On my knees, I crawl across the bed, then take hold of her shoulders to turn her to face me. Although she struggles, slapping at my hands and hissing that I should go, I stay firm.

Giving her space last night was a mistake.

One I’m not going to make again.

“I’m not goin’ anywhere.” Lily scoffs at my declaration but continues her refusal to look at me. I swallow down the fury that ripples through me at the sight of the bruises on her beautiful body and infuse honesty in my tone. “I can’t fuck you when you’re hurt, sweet thing, ’cause I’m not an animal. I don’t get off on seein’ you in pain. Can’t take my pleasure from you when you’re wearin’ another fuckin’ man’s brutality on your skin.”

Lily lifts her gaze to mine, then she scans my face. I try to keep my anger on a leash, unwilling to put any of my torment on her shoulders. Still, she sees through me. Her cheeks redden and her eyes take on a sad glint. Removing one hand from her shoulders, I massage my tight chest as I watch the battle she’s waging from within play out in her expression.

Rejection.

Humiliation.

Pride.

Anger.

Failure.

Realising that she’s reached her limit, I plonk down on my arse and pull her into my lap. Her backside scarcely touches my thighs before she’s slapping at my chest and gingerly scrambling to her feet as fast as she can. With a rage that burns so intensely that Lily forgets her nakedness, she glares down at me.

“I told you I was fine, Zeke… but since you don’t trust my word, you can go.”

It takes every ounce of willpower I possess not to give in to the urge to tell her that I know what she’s doing right now. This is Lily’s pride speaking. What she sees as my rejection is the final straw, and the emotional meltdown that I knew was bound to hit soon is beginning.

When I found her talking openly with Charlie, hope had grown within me that we’d be out of lockdown before she erupted. No such luck, it seems. I should’ve been satisfied with the win I had, left with the sounds of her orgasm ringing in my ears rather than giving into my urge to bury myself inside her. My foolish misstep, so soon after Lily confessed the true extent of Alex’s depravity yesterday, is going to have a flow-on effect through the clubhouse.

She’s entitled to her emotions. Fuck knows she’s earnt every skerrick of rage that consumes her. It’s just her indiscriminate aim when the pain that resides within her shattered soul becomes too much to handle makes it hard for people to empathise with her. I’d deny it if anyone ever tried to tell her this, but Lilianna Mayberry doesn’t do vulnerable well. She burrs up. Lashes out. Insults anyone who comes too close. Presses our soft spots until we react with enough anger to justify hers. Then she pulls inside herself and pushes away her totally legitimate feelings... until they build back up to a level that she can’t handle and the pattern repeats.

I’ve walked this road with her once before.

The cycle almost killed us both back then.

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