Page 69 of Tempting Fate

While his accusation is still ringing in my ears, Brutus shoves me in the chest, pushing me back a step. Before I can react, Charlie and Lily burst into action. My woman circles my waist with her arms and uses her body to move me away from her father as Charlie tries to shepherd Brutus toward the exit.

“It’s not your fault that Alex abducted me yesterday and it’s not your fault I can’t keep my head on straight,” Lily tells me. Her voice drops to an urgent whisper. “Don’t listen to him. Don’t allow him to undo the progress we just made... we both know he’s lashing out to deflect from his scheming back then.”

“Brutus! You stop this now,” Charlie orders her old man when he lets out a mocking snort in response to Lily’s pronouncement. “This is your stubborn pride and anger talking because you know, as we all do, that Lilianna is safe with Ezekiel. He’d sacrifice his own life before he let her get hurt.”

As Charlie tries to smooth the situation over, the guilt that has ridden me for almost six years returns with a vengeance.

“But I have let her get hurt.” I tell Charlie in a voice that vibrates with regret.

As crass and self-serving as Brutus’ description of the circumstances may have been, he’s not wrong. Lily is my responsibility, and I’ve failed her. Over and over. I know how dangerous Alex can be, yet instead of telling her the truth of the situation, I let my selfish desire to keep the smile on her face overrule my common sense.

In some ways, I’m no better than her father.

My hands shake as I take hold of Lily’s shoulders and push her into Brutus’ reach.

“Don’t do this!”

“I’m sorry, metukà shelì, but he’s right.”

“Fuck’s sake,” Slash snaps as I dislodge myself from Lily’s grip. “You wanna martyr yourself on the altar of Brutus’ bullshit, do it on your own time. Right now, we have a meetin’ to attend. Cherub needs you… man the fuck up and show her how much you love her instead of letting this egotistical fuck get in your head.” He jerks his thumb in Brutus’ direction. “He’s not worth it.”

“Ezekiel,” my dad ventures breathlessly. “Slash. Is... right.”

Hope in her eyes, Lily takes a step toward me. Brutus snags her by the waist and holds her back. Her eyes are watery, and her bottom lip is red from worrying it with her teeth while I went head-to-head with her father. My president. My godfather. My father-in-law to be. I want to tell her it’ll be all right. That we’ll work it out.

I can’t

It’s not true.

Because I am responsible for what happened to her yesterday and five and a half years ago, and it’s clear Brutus has found out somehow. Now, it’s only a matter of time before he tells her the full story and she’s forced to face the stark reality of the full extent of my failures.

After scanning my face, she visibly deflates.

“I don’t want you to come, sweet thing,” I tell her. Anger flares in her sapphire gaze, a spark of defiance that my next words fan into an inferno. “I don’t want you near him, don’t think you can handle it.”

Unspoken is the fact that I don’t think I can handle it.

“Too bad.” Lily straightens her shoulders and lifts her chin. “It’s not your choice.”

Her refusal spurs a conflict between my heart and my head. I need space before I say something I’ll regret. My hasty stride eats up the cement floor between my woman and the exit. The distance does nothing to calm me, only adds to my agitation. I don’t want to make things worse for Lily, don’t want her to suffer more than she already has, yet I fear rock bottom is deeper than I first imagined now that Brutus is inserting himself into things.

The Devil himself will have a penthouse view of our downfall by the time this is over.

Lungs straining, I don’t breathe again until the double doors are swinging shut behind me. When I spy Toker standing near our bikes, I snatch the cigarette that’s hanging from his lips and suck down the poisonous tar like a starving man. It’s been weeks since I quit, so the nicotine makes my head spin and does nothing to settle the tension that’s got my nerves twanging. Once I’ve finished it, I steal a second smoke, using the new one Toker has just put in his mouth to light it.

“All right, I get it,” he chuckles as he takes his cigarette back. “You’re stressed… doesn’t mean I’m suddenly the fuckin’ free smoke fairy.”

My mood darkens further in the face of his levity. “Shut the fuck up.”

Seeing Lily emerge from the compound with Slash only makes things worse. He’s holding her hand and instructing her on what to do next. After passing Lily her sunglasses, leather jacket, and helmet, he says, loud enough for me to hear, “You go on Venom’s bike. Don’t take no for an answer from the stubborn jackarse… you know he’s not gonna like you being there, and I fuckin’ agree with him, but we need you to come now. You’re needa stop this turnin’ into a shit show that fucks up this club.”

“Okay. I’ll try.”

Her wavering voice conveys exactly how she’s feeling.

Lost and betrayed.

By me.

---