Page 174 of Tempting Fate

“Let’s fix that, right now.” Slash grabs my hands and pulls me out of the car. He leads me through the garage door into the kitchen. Hands on my hips, he deposits me on a stool at the breakfast bar. After flicking on the kettle, Slash leans, facing me, with his elbows propped on the countertop that separates us. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s got you meltin’ down. Start with Brutus stealin’ the money your mum left you.”

“Not just mine. Sander’s. Fret’s. Both of the boys. It’s all gone. Drained. He’s the only one with access to our accounts, and it’s his signature on the withdrawal slips.” I shudder at the memory of finding Dad’s distinctive scrawl on the authorisation to empty and close our trust accounts. “It’s a mess, but we’re coping. Sander’s paying the co-payment for Fret’s rehab. He’s prepaid a year’s worth of Wyatt’s university courses. He’s handling all that on top of paying his own bills. Nate’s still in high school, so he doesn’t know that he has no way to fund his future right now.” After a heavy exhale, I admit, “I’m getting by on what I earn from my job, which isn’t much since I’m only a third-year graduate… definitely not enough to get a place of my own without help.”

The kettle boils. Since my caffeine addiction never returned to the same level after the miscarriage, Slash makes me a green tea with the perfect dollop of honey, then slides the mug over to me.

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“You have a funny way of showing it.”

Slash ducks his head. “I was embarrassed. A little mad at you… more pissed at myself for pushin’ you like that.” He raises his gaze to mine. “I let Bebe get in my head, but it’s not all on her. I’ve been in love with you for years. Just pushed it down because you and Venom seemed like endgame.”

“Well, I can tell you that it’s more Hunger Games than endgame after tonight,” I quip. Dropping his gaze, I tilt my face toward the ceiling as I confess, “After you left, I kissed this guy Nads set me up on a date with, and Zeke dragged me off the bar. Like, I know I shouldn’t have done it, but he pissed me off with his macho man act. Sure, I had a mini freak-out after the guy touched me…” Leaving the full extent of my triggered episode unsaid, I blow out a long breath. “But, anyway, we got into it, and I told him that I heard the recordin’ of his deal with my dad.”

“What did he do?”

“What we both do when things get hard between us. Apologised. Even threw in a little bit of grovelling when that didn’t work. Made a promise to fix things. The usual.”

Concern clouds Slash’s eyes when he asks, “What did you do?”

“Told him I’ll never fuck him again, then showed him my new scars. It was mean as hell, but he needed to know that I’m serious about being done with him.”

“Jesus.” An emotion that looks suspiciously like relief flits across his handsome face, then he whistles long and low. “Bet that went down like a lead balloon.”

I shrug. “I can’t wait for him forever... fuck me, he told me to move on. Of course, the moment I do, he wants back in.” Swinging from side to side on the stool to loosen the agitation that’s gripping me, I divulge my main frustration. “I don’t know what he wants from me… It’s been six months since everything fell apart, and it’s not like I hopped on the first dick that was waved at me.” Realising what I just alluded to, I pick up my tea and take a sip. With the mug obscuring the lower part of my face, I tell him. “I tried to stop it getting to this point, Slash. Everyone knows that. He doesn’t get to change his mind after so long, and expect everything to just go back to normal.”

“I doubt that’s what he expects.”

Eyes wide, I ask, “You’re defending him?”

“No.” Slash blushes and drops my gaze. “I just understand where he’s comin’ from.”

“Well, yay for you, I guess… ’cause I don’t understand any of it. My entire world has fallen apart, and I don’t know why... which makes it pretty damn difficult to fix anything.”

My admission seems to take on a life of its own.

It expands.

Fills the room to the point where I feel like it’s crushing me.

Seemingly unaffected, Slash grabs a beer out of the fridge. He cracks the top off on the edge of the bench, then slides onto the stool next to mine. After a long pull, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and says, “Hunter said somethin’ tonight that hit home for me… he called the love you and Venom share the forever kind.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” He bumps his shoulder into mine. “Now, I don’t necessarily agree with his assessment, but it made me realise that if I’m feelin’ the way I am after touchin’ you once, I should probably cut Venom some slack while he tries to get past nearly six years with you. By the same token, that means I need to leave you alone too.” When I open my mouth to protest that we can still be friends, he talks over me. “I pushed you too hard. Came on too strong; too fast. Took advantage of your broken heart because I was impatient… Duchess, you’ve got half a decade of history with Venom—actually, you have a lifetime with him to get past before you can even think about startin’ a relationship with me.”

I don’t have the heart to tell him that I doubt the day he’s waiting for will ever dawn.

Zeke is embedded in every fibre of my being.

I won’t choose between them.

I can’t choose between them.

But that millstone hangs from my neck, not Slash’s.

He’s already suffered enough for one lifetime.

“Does that mean we’re friends again?” It’s a ridiculous request, yet it means the world to me. I don’t know who I am without Slash by my side. Wilting under the strain of everything, my voice is barely audible as I confess, “I don’t want to lose you. Not ever.”

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