Page 80 of Seizing Control: Part Two

A necklace is dropped into my open palm.

A golden chain with a familiar charm.

My heart drops.

My eyes burn.

“Hades?” I whisper. The blood staining the sceptre and horns pendant is sticky. “He killed Hades...”

13

LILY

Add in stuff about her bolting awake in the middle of the night clutching her chest

Have a sense of foreboding again... she lies there staring at the ceiling frozen in place with worry paralysing her

Garrett is still asleep next to her.

Safe and peaceful.

this time she goes downstairs and discovers that Slash is home.

When I wake for second time it’s still dark. There’s a strange hush over the house. My bed is empty as I take a few moments to get my bearings. Garrett sleeps peacefully in his pillow cocoon. The unease that awoke me earlier remains. Foreboding chokes me. Beads of sweat dot my top lip. My painful acceptance of Slash’s rejection battles with the vague pleasantness that dawns with my recollection of Lazarus appearing in the middle of the night. The feel of his lips brushing over my forehead, the declaration of his love that I sleepily matched with one of my own.

It's easy to blame exhaustion for my capitulation.

The truth is a lot more convoluted.

I still love him.

I don’t want to live in fear of him anymore.

He’s sticking by his promise to return at night.

For the forty-second night in a row...

Lazarus’s dedication is wearing me down.

I can’t fault the man when he keeps showing up.

His vow to restore my faith is I give him time is strangely comforting, yet the sight of his rage as he smashed his fists against the dash of his expensive SUV haunts me. The words that erupted from his mouth, scorching vitriol, explosive hatred directed toward my husband for doing something nice for me in the wake to offset his abandonment. Split knuckles. Blood dripping. My first love lost control, resurrected the venomous side of his personality that had remained dormant since he returned to me. Coming on the heels of Slash’s brutality, seeing the real Lazarus unleashed was unnerving.

His reaction didn’t make sense.

I guess, jealousy rarely does.

“Jesus H. Christ.” Nadia rushes into my room. I quit staring at the ceiling and try to roll from the bed. My best friend takes hold of my hands and heaves me back to my feet. She sighs. “I tell you, I can’t keep up with the drama.”

“What drama?” I ask as I scoop my baby boy from the mattress. “It’s the middle of the night, Nads... I think we’re safe.”

After laying Garrett in his crib, I check him over. He sleeps peacefully, flat out on his back with his fists on either side of his head. His chubby cheeks are pink. The steady puffs that escape his parted lips are sweet. The cowlick of strawberry blonde hair that curls over his forehead beckons my touch. Fierce love surges through me as I look at my son.

It’s overwhelming.

I should be used to it by now, but I’m not. It continues to hit me every time I look at him. Sweeps my legs out from underneath me. Plants me on my backside. Forces me to sit in the weeds and examine the good and the bad in my life, to truly appreciate the blessing encased in one tiny body.

Nadia follows me into the bathroom. Her outrage is palpable, although she seems to be struggling for the right words to explain it. As I’m peeing, I marvel at the state of my life. Lazarus has lost my trust. My husband continues to deny me his heart.

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