Page 9 of Seizing Control: Part Two

Slash is heading for rock bottom.

My trauma is driving me to mutilate my skin.

Ever the protector, Zeke is fighting to keep both of our heads above water.

The small strip of light from the hallway that disturbed my sleep dims, and after my eyes adjust, I watch my cousin trip his way across the floor. He strips off his boots, then pulls his jeans down his legs. Toker’s posture alerts me that he is struggling as hard as the rest of us.

A solitary man, by choice, it’s been a couple years since he sought us out like this.

When my sprawls across the end of our bed, I whisper, “Everything good with you?”

“Good as can be, lil cuz, with the world tryna fuck us over.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“Nope.” Holding my breath, I wait to see if he’ll change his mind. When Toker’s silence makes it clear that he’s not in the mood to elaborate, I grab the pillow that Slash isn’t using since he’s stolen half of mine, and toss it toward my only cousin. He catches it easily and slides it under his head. There is weariness in his voice when he tells me, “Go back to sleep, Cherub... I’ll fill you in in the mornin’.”

“Why not now?—”

“You heard him, Lily.” My man’s arm tightens around me. He slides me closer, then pushes my head onto his shoulder. “Let Toker sleep... I’ll beat the answers you want outta him in the mornin’.”

“You better.” I snuggle into Zeke’s side, then nip at his chin with my teeth. “I love you.”

“Love you more,” he murmurs back. When he slides his hand under my t-shirt to palm my breast, I brace for my skin to crawl or some other negative reaction to hit. For once, all I feel is the urge to get closer to him. I slide my thigh over my man’s, silently giggling when he growls, “Still tryna send me mad, aren’t ya, metukà shelì?”

“Maybe...”

Zeke grumbles under his breath, then he tells me, “We’ll go furniture shoppin’ in the mornin’, then you’re in trouble. Can’t wait to explore carnage with ya.”

This is the closest we’ve come to acknowledging the fight we had before he chased me to the compound. I cut again. He caught me. I ran from his disappointment. My man took his frustrations out on our bedroom furniture. The scene he stumbled upon, his girlfriend spying on his best friend while he fucked a pair of cut sluts, and the victory we had over my triggers after that, distracted him for a little while, but Zeke is back in his right mind.

He's not going to let my deceit slide.

Thankfully, I’m freed from responding by my cousin. “You have guests... that means whispered sweet nothings are off the cards tonight.”

“Shut up, brother,” Zeke retorts. “Before I kick the pair of ya out.”

Toker makes obviously fake snoring noises.

I stifle my laughter, so I don’t wake up Slash.

Behind me, the big man is out cold, yet even in his sleep, he is discontent. He moves restlessly, impatience in his posture, until he seizes hold of my t-shirt in his fist again. I twist away from Zeke to check on him. Face screwed up, Slash seems to be captive to a nightmare. With a timid touch, I smooth away the line that mars the skin between his eyebrows. He is one of my favourite people on earth, but I’m at a loss with how to help him. I don’t know how to heal his hurt. The loss he faced was of an incomprehensible magnitude. Closure is an impossibility since the other family involved are allied to the Shamrocks main enemy.

All I can offer him is unconditional love and support, then hope and pray that it’s enough.

When I stroke his whisker covered jaw, Slash mumbles, “Cherub... hate this.”

“You’re okay,” I croon. “Go back to sleep.”

“Love ya... too much.”

Extricating myself from Zeke’s embrace, I roll onto my other side and cuddle Slash tight. He’s a big man, and I’m still working to regain my prior level of fitness, but I still manage to rock him back and forth. The ferocity in his hold when he returns my hug makes me tear up.

“I love you, too.”

“Good.” The agitation in his screwed-up expression dissipates. A sigh leaves his lips. “Good.”

Scanning his face in the dark, I am cognisant that Slash is a handsome man. Almost too good looking to be real. His big heart is as perfect as his face, which is why it’s inconceivable to me that he can’t find someone who loves him as much as I love Zeke. He’s a good man. A great listener. The best friend imaginable. More than that, Slash is the most honest, kindest, wisest, all-round compassionate person I’ve ever known.

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