Page 6 of Seizing Control: Part Two

Cinching my arms around his neck tighter, I arch my back to press my breasts to his chest. I’m unsure why I feel the need to test him like this, with an audience to my failure if it comes, except for the dawning awareness I have that another disaster could be the last straw. For me. Not Zeke. I don’t think this let-down will be the one that drives him away. The urgency tonight is on me. I want to make love to my boyfriend like a normal woman instead of having him pussyfoot around me and my panic attacks.

“I want more than a taste,” I admit, even as doubts creep into my head. “I want you.”

We stare at each other for too long.

“You’re only human, sweet thing.”

I blink to clear the dark thoughts crowding my head. “What?”

The chuckle he makes is forced. “I’m your hot boyfriend, of course you want more... ’cause you’re only human.”

In the same way I stopped him from spiralling into past pain, Zeke is doing the same thing for me. He can read my mind, see my rising anxiety and the recriminations I’m heaping on my psyche. I’m faking my need for him when the only thing I’m truly feeling is fear.

Fear of losing him.

Fear of falling victim to my brokenness.

Fear of losing my battle to outrun Alex’s filth.

“Eyes open,” Zeke commands. I meet his narrow-eyed gaze, inhaling harshly when he licks at the blood pooling in the left corner of his lips, then runs his bloodied tongue across the seam of my mouth. In an instinctive response, I suck my bottom lip between my teeth. The iron tang is imperceptible, more in my imagination than reality, so I dart out my tongue to steal a proper taste of his blood. A shudder runs through his wide body, and he drops his hips to press his hard-on into my stomach. “Fuck, Lil... tryna be the good guy here, but you’re sendin’ me mad?—”

“We’re all mad here.” I smile as I paraphrase the Mad Hatter. Pulling his mouth to mine, I kiss him, then murmur, “Welcome home, Zeke... come for the love, stay for the craziness.”

Our connection is deepened when, tongue tangling and hands grasping, we give in to the desire that finally, finally swells inside me. The reticence he usually uses with me disappears when I slide my hands underneath his cut and then his t-shirt, and draw my fingernails over his skin. His hiss is music to my ears, a reminder that I have claws as well. Lust makes my heart race when Zeke pulls my arms from around his neck and pins them above my head with one hand.

Trapped by the man I love, captive to a long-forgotten hunger, I melt into the mattress.

He accepts my submission for what it is... permission.

“Fuckin’ knew it... you need me just as much as I need you.” Zeke pushes his knee between mine. Desperate to feel him, I willingly part my legs. “Tell me you want this.” He grinds his erection against my pulsing pussy until I throw back my head and whimper. “Say it, sweet thing.”

“Yes... I want this.”

My Jezebel...

The return of Alex’s voice makes me stiffen, but his malevolence is immediately evicted when my love bites down on my earlobe with a viciousness that should scare me. It hurts. It makes me whimper. It drives me wild. The delicious throb of pain pulls me back to the here and now, and my man drives home his control of the situation with a follow up command, “Get outta your head, sweet thing... stay with me.”

“Zeke,” I plead. “I need...”

Circling my legs around his hips, I lose the ability to breathe when he acts on the request I was unable to voice and angles his erection perfectly. Every thrust of his hips strikes the perfect balance between pleasure and pain. My clit pulses. Warmth swirls in my stomach, down low where only pain once resided. With our lower bodies separated by two layers of denim, my mind is set at ease. I am free to submit to my desire without the risk of penetration.

Even if the idea of Zeke’s cock pushing inside me adds to my excitement.

“Fuckin’ love you.” He hums against the sensitive skin where my neck and shoulder join. The combination of his hot breath and the scrape of his whiskers sets off another wave of heat, and the throbbing in my clit builds into an effervescent ecstasy that heralds the approach of an orgasm. When I grind against his hardness, matching the rhythm of his swallow thrusts, my man palms my breast. He squeezes lightly before pulling away. “Need ya to call carnage now... sweet thing, I need ya to stop this from goin’ too far.

“No.”

“Yes.”

I arch my back, chasing his touch, as I reject his demand. “Please... I need to...”

“Come, sweet thing.” Zeke finishes my plea for me. He rests his forehead on mine, peering deep in my eyes as he tells me, “I know you wanna come... I can smell your need... can feel how crazy you are for me, for my cock, for me to touch you. You want me inside you... but I can’t give you none of that tonight. Not yet. Not until you’re ready...”

“I am?—”

“No,” he retorts. “You’re not ready for me, sweet thing... just know that you will be ready sooner than you realise. I can feel it. Smell it.” Zeke captures my mouth with his, swallowing my moans before he adds, “Soon, I’ll taste it.”

His dirty words are the final push I need.

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