Page 63 of Seizing Control: Part Two

“Do it.” My movements are jerky as I pull the hem of my t-shirt from the waistband of my pants. “Show me, husband... show me how only you can break me, then put me back together.”

“You’re not worth it.”

As much as his callous dismissal hurts, I keep my heartache from showing on the surface. Instead, I call his bluff. Pushing back to my feet, I step into his space. Stretched out to my full height, one hand palming his face, the other brushing over his short hair, I whisper, “I missed you... but it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way.” After patting his jaw, I curl my hands over his scalp. “You can change your hair, punish me with harsh words, but I’ll still love you anyway.”

“Bullshit.” Slash catches both of my hands in one of his. His grip is mean, too tight, too painful as he yanks me toward the foot of the bed. The cruelty in his movements stings when he tethers me, one wrist then the other, to the leather restraints attached to the top post. “You’re as selfish as Jenna.” I jerk like he’s hit me. “A fuckin’ bitch devoid of compassion. Unfaithful to your core. If you loved me, you’d give me what I need... instead I walk in on you fuckin’ a ghost with my son in the same room.”

Every syllable that leaves his mouth hits with the precision of a whip.

Lash after lash.

My husband flays me alive while his hands rip my top straight down the middle. Once my bra-covered chest and my swollen belly are exposed to his hate-filled eyes, I shiver. It’s a mixture of fear. Love. Regret. Subsiding hope. He is madder than I’ve ever seen him. Out of control. Hurt beyond recognition.

“I’m sorry you had to see that...” After dragging in a deep breath, I confess, “I should’ve told you that he was back.” Steeling my spine, I force my gaze to remain fix on his, even though the loathing in them makes me want to run. “We’ve both made mistake. We’ve both lied. You allowed me to grieve a man who wasn’t dead while I gave you grace to come to terms with Garrett?—”

“You gave me nothing!” Slash shouts in my face. On my tiptoes, I recoil from his vehemence as far as I can. He hooks his fingers into my waistband and yanks me back to him. “There’s no reasonin’ your way out of this... I’m not interested in excuses. I’m fuckin’ done... ’cause there ain’t a part of you that appeals to me anymore. Nothin’ left to fight for.” My torn t-shirt is ripped off my shoulders and down my arms. The bra I’m wearing leaves welts around my upper body when he tears it off. “You’re used up. Easy.” The distaste in his expression when his eyes roam my belly makes fear choke me. For the first time, I am scared of what Slash might do to me and my babies. “This pussy has caused so much carnage...” His hand cups me over the stretchy denim covering my core. It’s crude. Designed to degrade me. It works. “Why? How? It’s nothin’ special. Just a hole that feels like the rest of them.” When he drops to his knees, I freeze, still afraid of his intentions. It’s obvious that Slash wants to hurt me. The question is how far he’ll go in his quest for vengeance. In one go, he tears the seam of my pants all the way down to the apex of my thighs. His voice drips with disdain as he tells me, “Truth is, I’ve had better.”

Holding my breath, I wait for his next move.

My husband is silent.

I remain hanging from the four-poster bed.

My upper body is exposed.

My tattered pants hang from my hips.

The humiliation of my position has nothing on the disgrace his words rain down. “You’ve ruined me. I fought for years to deny my feelings for you... my conscience wouldn’t let me give in to your allure.” I fight to keep my balance when he pulls my boots from my feet. They hit the wall behind him with a thud. “’Cause I knew the second that I did, you’d fuck up my entire life.”

“I can make things right...” I sob. He is a ball of rage, but I still fight through my fear, trying to make him listen. “All you’ve got to do is let me love?—”

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” Biting down on the inside of my cheek, I do as I’m told. I suppress a whimper as the remnants of my pants are yanked down my legs. My panties are turned into strips of satin. Gripping my arse with his hands, Slash holds me in place as he presses his face between my legs and inhales. “You washed him away. Tried to hide your treachery with body wash and perfume.”

“Slash—”

“I hate you.”

This time, I can’t fight my emotions. A whimper falls from my lips. Fat tears run down my cheeks. My mind is whirling, unable to tell up from down as Slash unleashes a level of destruction I never thought possible.

“My love for you is dead.”

“No.”

He silences me by sucking on my clit. I buck my hips, unsure if I want to move away from him or draw him closer. His teeth seesaw over my sensitive flesh. I’m sent spiralling when my husband pumps two fingers inside my body. The inner walls clutch him tight, and I moan.

“Don’t fuckin’ act like you want me.” Slash slaps my arse. He digs his fingers into the stinging flesh, holding me still so he can devour me with his tongue and his teeth. Once I’m crying out his name, he pulls away. “You’re a slut. Anyone can have you.”

“No.” I shake my head from side to side. “Only you. Only Lazarus.”

“Bullshit.” Pushing back to his feet, my husband finally touches my pregnant belly. I shrink away from his hands, unable to stand his idle caress when it’s filled with hate. “You don’t even know the father of your baby... it could be anyone’s. Mine. Lazarus’s. Fuckin’ who knows... half the club’s probably had a turn while I was gone?—”

“Stop it.”

“Why?” There is nothing but insanity in his eyes when they bore into mine. “Don’t you like the truth?”

“The truth!” I shriek. A sob is ripped from my throat, choking me for a moment, then I yell at him, “The truth is simple, Carter. I love you as much as I love Lazarus. My babies were conceived in love... but they won’t be born into it if you keep taking us down this path. All I want is you, and Lazarus, and our babies. That’s enough for me. But we aren’t enough for you... tell me how to make us enough for you? Please...”

Remorse flickers across his angular features.

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