Page 60 of Seizing Control: Part Two

Inhaling through my nose, I concentrate on the one thing that hasn’t changed about him. His scent. The cologne he’s wearing is the same one he’s used for as long as I can remember. It’s a safe harbour. A reminder of better times. Emblematic of our history. I breathe in again, screwing my eyes shut as I do my best to fight back the tears that burn, and follow his orders.

I relax into his grip.

“Good girl.”

His praise makes me shudder.

The hiccup-sob I make earns me a swift kiss on the lips.

“Breathe, sweet thing.”

Twice more, I inhale deeply, then empty my lungs.

“That’s it, metukà shelì. Trust me to keep you safe.”

When the fight leaves my body, Lazarus lets out a long sigh. “You’re my woman.” The madness in his eyes is stark when I meet his gaze, and I realise that he is as keyed up as I am. Caught up in his own doubt over my trauma response, fearful that I won’t give him the same belief that I offer Slash, his own demons are triggered. “I’ll share your heart with him. Let him inside you—once he’s earnt that privilege—but you’re mine.”

“No.” I wrap my hand around his much bigger one. “That’s unfair.”

“Unfair,” Lazarus snaps at me. His nostrils flare and his eyes widen. The black pupils in the middle of his unique irises dilate further. “That motherfucker doesn’t deserve fair... he deserves a fuckin’ bullet.”

This time, I am angry rather than scared when I demand, “Let me go.”

“No.”

“I am not your property. You don’t get to dole out my affections as you see fit.” He reluctantly allows me to peel his fingers from my throat, one digit at a time. “I am the master of my own fate—I love you both, different but equal. My first love and my silver lining.” When I shove at Lazarus’ shoulders, he moves off me. I deliberately ignore his heated gaze as I roll back to my feet. “Stay with Garrett. I’ll be home once I’ve spoken to my husband.”

“Lily.” My angry man tries to stalk after me. Thankfully, my son lets out a squawk that demands immediate attention. There is a moment where Lazarus considers stopping me from leaving. It is fleeting, and thankfully, his rational side quickly takes control. He scoops up Garrett and holds him to his chest. “I meant what I said.”

“So did I.”

“Be careful.”

“I will.” When I try to snatch the ‘Property of” vest from the floor where Lazarus tossed it, he slams his bare foot down on top of it. “Back off, Lazarus. This isn’t your choice.”

He holds my son like he’s precious at the same time as he bares his teeth at me. “Push it, Lily. See how far I’ll go.”

“I’m his wife.”

“Yeah.” With determination in his stride, he uses his big body to back me away from the leather cut. “But you’re my everything.”

Trapped between the wall and my first love, I bite down on my bottom lip and try to work out how to explain to him that I need to give Slash something to hold on to. He returned for a reason. His middle of the night reappearance wasn’t a fluke. It was a compromise.

Carter Hudson made a conscious decision to come back to us.

He knew the parameters.

Acceptance of Garrett.

Love without limitations for me.

I asked him to stay away until he was certain.

“He loves me.”

“He has a funny fuc—frickin’—way of showing it.”

“We built a life together while you were dead.”

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