Page 30 of Seizing Control: Part Two

Desire travels up her neck to settle in the apples of her cheeks. My sweet thing is labouring under the same needs as I am, despite her best efforts to conceal it from me. I see the rigid set of her shoulders. The steel in her spine. Lily is determined to stand on her own two feet. She wants to be seen as my equal, to have me bow before her.

All she has to do is ask.

I’ll drop to my knees.

Worship at the altar of her perfection.

But that’s not what she needs right now, so I remain silent, continue to hold her hand and occasionally run my thumb over her knuckles while Lily wordlessly lays down the gauntlet to me. She’s keen to dictate the terms of our next era. She wants the power that I never allowed her to brandish in the previous iteration of our love.

It was a misstep on my part.

One I won’t repeat.

Lily is wistful when she tells me, “Come back tonight.”

“Tonight.”

My one-word reply is a vow and a declaration. I see her fight for equality, and I respect it, and that’s why I reluctantly allow her to pull free of my grasp without an argument. Touching the earpiece, I work saliva into my suddenly dry mouth as I wait for Layla to respond.

“Boss.”

“Clear the exit.”

“On it,” my smartarse ally quips with a laugh. When she returns a second later, I nod to visually confirm that I’ve heard her stern rejoinder, “I have eyes on you... you have two minutes to vacate.”

Despite the clock ticking down, I curl my fingers around the back of Lily’s neck and pull her against my chest. I press my lips to her forehead, then I remove myself from her presence and move with deliberate steps down the hallway. The kiss that I blow Lily when I reach the top of the stairs feels inadequate.

“Get a move on... we have plans, Laz.”

My soul demands I ignore Layla’s reminder that I have things to do this morning in favour of staying with my woman. Rather than act on my wishes, I place one hand on the balustrade, then throw myself over the side. My feet softly thud on the hardwood floor when I land, most of the noise absorbed when I push up from my toes to control the distribution of my weight.

Out the unlocked back patio doors.

The prospect on yard duty is missing, too busy checking out the reason for the car alarm that Layla has set off to distract Slash’s security contingent. I easily clamber over the rear fence, stride across the vast lawn, and into my new house. At the kitchen counter, I stop and peruse my planner. The tablet that operates my house contains my electronic calendar, and I check what I have on today, then flip open the folder that sits next to it. Page after page, the decisions I need to make taunt me. So much to do, so little time to do it. Murder. Mediation. Mud rooms. It’s not a combination I ever thought would fill my days, yet here I am.

Murder is familiar.

Mediation is a new responsibility.

Mudrooms part of a not-so distant dream.

The interior designer I hired has been busy. He’s created a folder full of style suggestions, all of them tailored to Lily’s taste, and I’ve been flicking through it whenever I’ve had a spare moment in the hopes of nailing down the plans so the home that Lily is purchasing from me today will be as perfect as can be when she finally sees it.

There’s a countdown clock in my head that’s at odds with my decision to reveal myself to her prematurely. My new agreement with Gabriel is clear—he gave me the rest of Lily’s pregnancy to make the world safe for her, then he would go into semi-retirement so Lazarus Abaddon could succeed him as the Adjudicator. The deal was simple. My need for Lily is not. With Slash gone, Lily left alone, and her belly growing by the day, it’s proven impossible to deny myself what I truly needed.

To be with Lily while our child grows inside her.

I don’t need a DNA test to tell me that she’s carrying my baby.

I can feel it.

From my heart to my soul to my head to my gut.

Life will be perfect.

I will have Lily’s love.

Fatherhood.

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