Page 130 of Seizing Control: Part Two

Although Lazarus threw his weight around to keep her admitted for as long as possible so she could be close to the twins, Cherub was discharged this afternoon with a clean bill of health. Her caesarean incision should heal within the next four to five weeks. The loss of her uterus remains an unspoken wound that we dance around. My wife concentrates on the twins while I do my best to bond with Garrett in her absence. Lazarus divides his time between the renovations my duchess has organised, his duties for Gabriel, spending time with my son, and sleeping at the hospital to protect his Lily and their children. He manages to be everything to everyone, whereas I continue to flounder under the pressure of my new roles.

Husband.

Father.

MC president.

Son.

Brother.

I am kicking hard to keep my head above water.

Resenting Lazarus as the seconds lapse and I struggle to balance my burdens.

“I want to be back in time to feed Ezra,” Cherub announces. Even with the open invitation to visit the NICU at any time, I can see the impending distance weighing her down. It’s there in the stress creasing the skin around my duchess’ eyes, the swelling of her bottom lip from chewing on it, the way her gaze strays toward the main entrance then back to Garrett. “He’s accepting the milk I’ve expressed so I don’t want to mess with his progress just because I’ve been sent home. Deborah thinks I can start breast feeding him within the next couple of days.”

“Of course, sweet thing,” Lazarus assures her. He looks at me and lifts his eyebrows. “Whatever you want.”

We manage an entire silent conversation in the twenty seconds it takes for me to start the vehicle. The surprise party awaiting her at him might have been a misstep—one that we could have avoided since Nadia cautioned us that giving in to the other Moscato & Monet girls plan to throw Cherub a welcome home party wasn’t a good idea. I was unconcerned by the plan, more focused on finding ways to get my wife to myself upon her discharge than I was over her spending time with everyone else. Lazarus canvassed for opinions, but found the sentiment evenly spread between it being a good idea and an overstep.

Handing over the reins to Serena Abaddon was easy.

Her assurances that Cherub would want to be celebrated went unchallenged.

Now I worry that abdicating responsibility was an unforced error.

“Hey, sweet thing.” While I’m inwardly stressing, Lazarus half turns in his seat so he can look at my wife. “Can I ask you something?”

White knuckling the steering wheel, I brace for everything to blow up in our face. We’ve been trying so hard to make her happy, to pre-empt her needs for the week she’s been recovering from her surgeries, that we’ve lost sight of the reality of our situation.

We’re her men.

It’s our job to protect her.

Even if it’s from her own people pleasing tendencies.

“Sure.” Cherub’s distracted by our son, half paying attention to Lazarus, so she misses the serious tenor to his question. “Shoot.”

“If we were about to lead you into a surprise party—” His shoulders straighten when his Lily turns to face him. I look at her over my shoulder, trying to read her expression. “—with everyone, from the Shamrocks to some of the Trinity to the M&M girls to most of the people from work, would you be happy or pissed off?”

“Was this your idea?” My wife sucks her bottom lip into her mouth. Her forehead wrinkles as she scans our faces. “Did you set this up?”

“No,” I tell her before returning my gaze to the road. “We were more focussed on your needs.”

“Yeah.” Lazarus nods. “It was Serena’s idea, a little bit Indi’s, and then it kinda took on a life of its own.”

“It’s fine.” Rolling to a stop at the stoplights, I look at her over my shoulder. The ghost of a smile graces her face. “You’re gonna have to make it up to me, though... I expect shoulder rubs, and Milo in bed every morning, and middle of the night snacks, and...”

My duchess continues to list her demands, but I don’t hear them.

I’m too busy grinning from ear to ear at the irony of it all.

Cherub thinks she needs to barter for our devotion.

I would walk through fire for this woman.

Now I have to make her believe in me again...

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