This is bigger than me.
“Stop.” I shove at the big man’s chest, then fix them both with a quelling look. “You’re moving too fast. I need—I need... time and space... to think. You need to leave.”
“Duchess.” Slash glances at Lazarus. “We’ve reached a truce. Everything is gonna be good from now on.”
“He’s right.” The criminally sexy man in the well-fitting suit smoulders at me. “Metukà shelì... I know this feels sudden for you, but this is real. We’re not going to make you choose.”
“Leave or I’ll have the nurse remove you.” My murmured warning goes unheeded. Returning to their seats, they studiously ignore each other, keeping their attention locked on me instead. I close my eyes, praying for the strength needed to deal with stubborn men. When I raise my eyelids, the wariness that’s clouding their gazes makes me wish I could have cowed them so quickly months ago, instead of needing to bleed out first. “Can you get Nadia to come, please?”
“Lily.” Lazarus’ wraps his fingers around my forearm. “Let’s talk things through.”
“Baby,” Slash croons. “All you need to do is listen.”
A ripple of excitement undulates through me.
I am a walkover when it comes to them.
It’s dangerous and weak.
“How are the twins?”
They look at me like I’ve grown a second head.
Apparently my newborn babies are an afterthought to their priorities.
“Fucking hell.” My profanity makes them jerk like they’ve been hit. “Just go.”
When I try to lift my arm to gesture at the door, I’m immediately reminded of the ordeal I just went through. It’s kind of annoying that I didn’t manage to reach the magical thirty-four-week mark that my obstetrician had set for me, but I was damn close. Thirty-two weeks and a day. I avoided preeclampsia. Dodged gestational diabetes. Stayed as active as possible.
It took dodgy placenta to bring my run of good health to a premature end.
“We don’t know anythin’ much about the twins, except that they’re in the NICU and they’re doin’ well,” Slash confesses in a rush. He takes hold of my hand again, shame brightening his cheeks as he elaborates. “Nads won’t let us see them—said it was up to you if we got near ’em. Mumma backed her up.” My husband exhales heavily, and he finally meets my eyes, I momentarily forget that I’ve asked him to leave. “Took a ten-minute argument to get ’em to leave Garrett with me while they went downstairs for some breakfast. Even though he’s been with me—” Lazarus growls, and Slash corrects himself. “—us all night.”
“Who’s they?” I ask the question, even though I can already guess.
“Everyone. Dad and Mumma. Your brothers—even Everett. Hunt. Toker. The rest’a the club brothers and most’a the old ladies. Delia and her daughters. The M&M girls are flying in as we speak and the Blackards are sending a contingent.”
With gentle sweeps of his palm, Lazarus brushes my unruly hair off my forehead again. “My team’s with the twins. Everyone’s safe as they can be. I’ve got shit monitored, sweet thing. Locked down tight. Our babies are secure—they’re just waitin’ for their imma to meet them.”
If my insides weren’t so sore, they would melt at the sound of Lazarus calling me mommy in Hebrew. It happens every time he uses the endearment, but this is the first time he’s said it in front of anyone else. Normally, we’re tucked away in my bedroom, locked in our own world, where the real-life implications can be ignored.
Now, though, with my husband watching on, it’s bittersweet.
Having Lazarus this close reminds me off the reasons why I love him.
How worried I was while he was gone for the week.
All the highs and lows I experienced with him in secret over the months.
The choice I made to choose my own peace of mind over the stubborn men I love.
“Everything’s taken care of,” Lazarus reiterates when I don’t respond.
I quirk my lips, an attempted smile that doesn’t come to fruition. My chin does it’s stupid wobble thing again, telegraphing my impending meltdown. I close my eyes. To block out my first love’s open adoration. To hide from the big man’s apology.
They both want me.
I want them too.