Page 84 of Seizing Control: Part One

Hearing Sera so succinctly explain the similarity in our circumstances is eye-opening. I suck my bottom lip into my mouth and run my teeth over it. The inevitability of my love triangle still doesn’t sit well with me, but it also doesn’t feel as weighty as it has done since the epiphany dawned.

“But they’ll want you to choose.”

“I don’t give a shit,” Sera tells me. Her vehemence is out-of-character. She’s the calm one of the group. Colour settles in her cheeks, and she drops her hoop into her lap. “They can dish out all the ultimatums they like—I want them all or none of them. It’s that simple.”

“No, it isn’t.” Indi has been quiet while we’ve talked, but she’s animated now. Her long strawberry-blonde hair swishes as she gathers it over her shoulder and twists it into a knot. “Men are animals—beasts. They have a primal instinct to own their woman. You can’t honestly expect three men to be satisfied sharing you with each other.”

“Pax wouldn’t care,” Nadia offers. The look she exchanges with Sera is filled with apology, still she barrels headfirst into her next statement without hesitation. “Look, I only spent a night with him, however, he’s a Dom with a voyeurism kink. He’d be in his glory sharing Sera with another man as long as he got to call the shots, especially if the other man is Remi. Those two can communicate without words.”

“She’s right.” It’s easy to see that Sera has negative thoughts about Pax fucking Nadia and she’s trying not to give into them. My best friend did nothing wrong when she slept with Pax, but that doesn’t mean the situation isn’t awkward. “Lo is the holdout.”

We lapse into silence. The other women stay quiet as they watch me work through the implications of Sera and Nadia’s assessment of men and their desires. My inexperience makes me feel like a child compared to the other woman. I was so gung-ho about being with Zeke when I was a teenager that I never even thought about exploring other options. He was the one I wanted, and I went after him with a single-mindedness that blew up in my face when Alex turned out to be insane. Yet, I can deny that the foreign yearning I feel as I imagine what it would be like to be in Sera’s shoes—with Zeke and Slash.

Could they actually share me?

As quickly as the question enters my head, it withers and dies.

My pounding heart doesn’t get the memo, though.

In my mind’s eye, I revisit a scene I stumbled across more than a decade ago.

Slash and Zeke with one of the cut sluts.

A tall, blonde woman.

Instead of seeing her body trapped between them, my brain inserts me. It’s a sensual scene, a threesome with the men I love. Leashed to a bed similar to Slash’s four-poster bed, held captive to their desires. Zeke’s rough touch as he loses control. Slash’s casual indifference while he fights his hunger to dominate. The teasing touches. Lust and pain. A craving undulates through me, makes my stomach hollow as my clit pulses.

My fingers tighten around my embroidery hoop.

I swiftly shift positions, hugging my legs to my chest so I can squeeze my thighs together.

“Here.” Nadia slides a notebook and pen toward me. “Write it down.”

“What do you want me to write?”

My best friend takes one look at my flushed face, smiles, then calls my bluff. “Your fantasy. Pretend you’re in one of your romance books. Purge that dirty mind of yours—embrace the possibilities.”

“I can’t.”

“Address it to Venom,” Nadia presses on. “Tell him about the fire he started when he left you. Explain to him how he brought this on himself... that he created this firestorm with his heavy-handed tactics.” When I try to push the notebook back to her, my best friend slaps my fingers. The other women titter at my shocked hiss. “We all know Venom is more like Lo than Slash is... so he’s the one who needs convincing most.”

It kills me to think of Zeke, incarcerated to protect me, reading my true thoughts.

The same as it hurts to acknowledge that Nadia is wrong.

Slash is as territorial as my first love.

His hatred of being second choice.

It fuels him, drives him to make demands.

I can feel his impatience with my resolve not to choose.

Hear the betrayal in his voice every time I deny him.

“Just write it down,” Serena urges.

Her stepsister adds her vocal agreement. “Yeah, do it... I can help if you want?”

---