Page 65 of Seizing Control: Part One

“Let’s table this discussion for later,” Slash interrupts whatever Hunter was about to say. When I turn in my seat to look at him, there’s a shifty light in his eyes that he quickly shields with concern. As I struggle to contain my reaction in front of Crystal, Gabriel, and the select group of club brothers who gathered in the early morning hours to speak with the UK Trinity, Slash palms my face with his big hands. “You trust me, don’t you, duchess?”

“Yes.”

Although my answer is immediate, it’s not the full truth. Like Zeke, Slash is a pro at hiding things from me. He’s not as bad as my first love, he doesn’t make arbitrary decisions to “protect me”, but he definitely keeps his cards closer to his chest than someone like Toker does.

“Then you’re gonna listen to me when I tell you to head upstairs and spend the day with Sander, aren’t you?”

“But... a wedding. This weekend. I’m...” Trailing off as everyone regards me with varying degrees of concern and dismay, I do my best to stammer through an apology. “I’m sorry... I’m just worried.” As excuses go, it’s insufficient, but I refuse to be a liability in this situation, not when everyone is doing so much to extricate me from the mess that I started five years ago with my stupid plan to use Alex to make Zeke jealous.

Without warning, Slash presses his lips to mine and tap-dances his fingertips along the column of my throat. Reminiscent of the way it betrayed me when Zeke lifted me onto the dresser and pleaded for my forgiveness, and again in the chapel last night while I tended to Slash’s battered face, my traitorous body reacts without conscious thought.

My nipples pebble.

A shudder runs the length of my spine.

“I’ll be back later today, duchess.”

Thankful for a distraction from the lust building within me, I mentally grasp the ire that flickers to life in my gut at the reminder that Slash will be able to see Zeke and I won’t with both hands. Concentrating on all the things that are wrong in my life instead of my growing yearning to break my months-long sex drought is smart. It’s also the only way I’m going to get through the dangerous situation my father has created for me and the Shamrocks without making things worse by sleeping with one of the men I love—or both of them.

I am only human, after all.

It’s been months since Zeke was inside me.

A path I’m yet to travel with Slash.

As soon as that thought surges to the forefront of my mind, I banish it.

The chemistry between Slash and I will never be explored.

The carnal connection between Zeke and I must also remain dormant.

“We’ll sit down and go through things then.”

Redirecting my focus from my sexual needs back to the conversation at hand, I reply on autopilot, “Promise?”

My brain flies back to my meltdown on the stairs earlier after I found out that Zeke won’t allow me to see him while he’s remanded in custody, and I immediately regret making such a stupid request. If life has taught me anything, it’s that searching for absolutes is a pointless exercise.

As if he can read my mind, Slash reiterates his earlier promise, “No promises. Just actions. I will be back. We will discuss everything. You will have nothin’ to worry about.” The certainty in his voice buoys me as he collars my throat and pulls me closer so he can press a quick kiss to my lips. “Now, I want you to head upstairs and spend the day with your brother without worrying too much.”

“Okay.” He eyes me warily. I do my best to play it off, determined not to alarm him any further than my easy acquiescence already has, even as an alternate way to spend the day cements itself and lifts my flagging spirits. “Please... tell Zeke that I love him. That I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get him out of jail—” Swallowing hard when a lump of grief wedges in my throat, I add. “—and Hades too. I don’t want him to spend any longer behind bars than necessary.”

After flexing his fingers around my neck in silent warning to behave, Slash inclines his head. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” It’s the truth, yet I feel guilty for admitting it out loud. Once the front door has closed behind Slash, Isaiah, Cub, and Hunter, I turn to find Crystal staring at me with an inquisitive gaze. “What?”

“You’re up to somethin’,” Crystal tells me in a low tone that doesn’t reach Angelis and Gabriel. She smiles wide when I don’t answer her, then nods twice. “But that’s none’a my business.” Shifting her attention from me to her husband and the man I’ve just learnt is the most feared person in the world, Slash’s mum says in a louder voice that’s filled with amusement, “Now, gentleman, it’s time for you two to make yourself scarce. Little Cherub’s gonna spend the day upstairs with Sander and Nadia while I cook up a storm to feed the masses.”

Since I would usually be roped into assisting her in the kitchen, I expect Angelis to see straight through his wife’s obvious ploy to get them out of the house. He doesn’t. Instead, he hugs Crystal tight, and kisses her long and hard. “Proud’a ya, Mumma C. That can’t’ve been easy.”

“It was worth it,” she tells him. “I’m finally gettin’ the daughter I’ve always wanted.”

My chin starts to wobble as the emotion in her voice pierces the veil of grief and worry that’s been cloaking me since Dad laid out his evil intentions yesterday. The burn behind my eyes grows hotter, and I do my best not to blink, so the emotions I’ve been suppressing since Slash calmed me down in the chapel don’t overwhelm me again.

I don’t have the time for another panic attack.

“I appreciate everything you’re doing for me.”

“No thanks necessary, Cherub. Your mum was my best friend—she would’ve done the same for any of my boys.” My father’s confession about the reason why Slash’s oldest brother died flashes in my head. Gabriel must read my face because he takes hold of my hand and squeezes it in warning. “Now, off you go... Carter gave you an order, mo ulaidh bheag... one he would expect ta be followed.”

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