Page 9 of Seizing Control: Part One

An outlaw.

Wild.

Stupid.

But Lilianna Mayberry is mine.

Without her unconditional acceptance, without the illumination of her love, without her unwavering faith, without her sweet and sassy disposition, I would cease to exist as a human man. My dark side would win. The broken, twisted black hole at the centre of my soul would devour me whole. And I’d probably take out half of Perth on my way to the grave in a hail of bullets and a deluge of bloodshed.

“You’re safe now.” It takes Cherub’s whispered oath for me to realise that I’m shaking. My leg bounces. The needle-like prickle of fury returns, stabbing me from the inside. When I attempt to draw in a steadying breath, my sweet girl cups the back of my head and presses my face into the crook of her neck. She holds me tight, attempting to rock me even though I’m more than twice her size, while she croons, “This is it, Zeke. The last time. It’s finally over. She can’t ever leave you again.”

I’ll never know how she does it, somehow Cherub always knows exactly what I need to hear. From the moment my mother drew her last breath, I’ve wanted to be in her orbit. I needed her sweetness to offset the sourness of my hatred. Yet, instead of pursuing solace, I rode away from the farm to the Shamrocks’ strip clubs. Rather than seek out the comfort I needed, I drank myself into a stupor, fought customers at the club, fucked strippers, then passed out in a back booth.

I wanted to come here.

And, ordinarily, I would’ve...

But the constant surveillance, the judgemental comments, Scarlett’s inclination to sneak me in without Brutus knowing... it all makes me uncomfortable. So, I denied myself. I put on a brave face. Pretended I wasn’t affected by my mother’s final rejection. Avoided Carter and Benny when they tried to track me down.

Until I knew the coast was clear.

Brutus gave me the night off.

Made his intentions to indulge in the cut sluts clear.

So, I came here.

“Thank you.”

My gratitude settles over me like a soft cloud.

It dampens my rage.

Soothes my hurt.

“I love you,” Cherub tells me. “You don’t ever need to thank me for that.”

Fucking hell. Every time I’m with her, she makes everything better. Makes me feel normal.

Why do people have to taint what we have with their impure notions?

“Time to get back in your bed,” I tell her, even as my arms refuse to let her go.

Gritting my teeth, I try to ease Cherub away from me, but she holds tight. “I’m sleeping with you.”

“Nope.”

“Yep.” The little smartarse screws her eyes shut and makes fake snoring noises. I bite the inside of my cheek to stop from laughing. When my body shakes with suppressed humour, she cracks one eyelid to peer at me. Her cheekiness lifts the rest of my mood and settles the discontentment that’s had my soul in a pincer grip since I saw her last. “Either get in my bed or I’m staying down here with you. Dad’s gone. Mum let you up here. It’s fine.”

Aware that she’ll dig her heels in all night to get her own ways, I give in. She stands first, pulling me back to my feet with a forceful tug of both hands. When I’m at my full height, Cherub presses a kiss to the bottom of my jaw, then she peers up at me with determination in her gaze.

I’m dead on six-foot-tall and she already stands at nose height.

The ticking timebomb I’m avoiding echoes loudly in my head.

She smells like a woman.

She’s on the cusp of becoming one.

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