Page 236 of Seizing Control: Part One

The sight that greets me strips the oxygen from my lungs.

Dressed in charcoal suit pants, Zeke is sitting on the edge of my bed. He’s holding Garrett like he’s held a million babies before—which I know is inaccurate since he is low-key afraid of them. Every club brother who’s tried to get him to hold their children has been met with a resounding rejection.

Slash is the same.

Neither man will engage with the Shamrocks offspring until they’re able to walk.

Then, they chase them and push them on the swing set.

Babies, however, are no-go zones.

“He woke up,” Zeke tells me when it becomes clear that I’ve lost the ability to speak. The sight of my son cradled to my first love’s tattooed chest, his big arms supporting Garrett with ease, kills me. This should be our life. “Figured you wouldn’t want Nads or Mumma C cutting our night short... hope you don’t mind that I picked him up?”

“Of course not.” The strain in my voice is obvious. “He doesn’t usually like men, though.”

Zeke brushes the knuckle of his index finger along Garrett’s chubby cheek. “Little man seems to like me just fine.”

A strangled sound fills the room as I hiccup and sob at the same time. Shaking my head when my first love stands and takes a few steps in my direction, I back away. Confusion flares in Zeke’s gaze, and he pins me with a worried look.

“I... you... we...” Sniffing, I dash away the tear that runs out of my right eye. “It’s amazing. You’re a natural.”

“Hardly.” He shrugs. My son snuggles closer, his little hand opening and closing around the necklace hanging from Zeke’s neck. I try to decipher the new ink covering his throat when he cautiously approaches me, but my attention is snagged by the raw honesty in my first love’s tone when he tells me, “Since Slash told me about the baby... I’ve been doing my best to learn everything I can.”

“Slash. Told. You?”

Zeke narrows his eyes. “Yes.”

“About the baby?”

“Yes.”

“So, he knows you faked your death?”

Shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot, he becomes enamoured with the floor. “Yes.”

“You two have been in contact recently?”

“Yes. We speak. Mainly about Brutus and your ongoing safety.”

“Great. Just great.”

In my heart of hearts, I figured that my husband was in on the plan to fake Zeke’s death from the beginning. It was an idea I couldn’t bring myself to examine while there was so much distance between us. I preferred to concentrate on Garrett getting his daddy back in a better headspace, on my hope that Zeke would return in the night, on my belief that things could be made right between the three of us eventually. Now that Zeke has casually confirmed my suspicion, all the justifiable rage I feel at them both resurfaces.

I’ve been lied to.

Kept in the dark.

Deserted physically and mentally.

It hurts so badly.

They’ve never trusted me.

How are we supposed to build a life of a foundation of lies, secrets, and abandonment?

“Lily... I know this looks bad, but it was for your good.”

Exhaling slowly, in an attempt to stop myself from yelling at him while he’s holding my son, I empty my lungs until they burn. My stride is steady and determined when I close the distance between us. My first love has an inbuilt Lily’s-about-to-lose-her-temper detector, so he wisely allows me to take Garrett from him without comment.

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