Page 232 of Seizing Control: Part One

SLASH: I’m coming to terms with being your silver lining

My chin is wobbling as I reply.

LILY: My silver lining... what a perfect description xo

SLASH: I’m starting to agree

LILY: I wasn’t lying

LILY: I would’ve kissed you if you hadn’t decided to take me to Zeke

SLASH: Fuck!

SLASH: Self-sabotage 101

LILY: Yep

SLASH: Appreciate you humouring me at this time of the night. I’ll let you get back to sleep

LILY: Okay

LILY: I love you xo

My declaration is genuine, and that’s the crux of my problem. Slash is working on himself. He’s going out of his way to keep me in the loop as he rediscovers himself. I’m both angry at the distance, hurt by his absence, and proud of his fortitude. It would be so easy for him to give up on us. My husband could walk away, and most people would understand his reasons.

I broke my vows when I undermined him.

Keeping Garrett was my line in the sand.

Slash is within his rights to leave me over it.

That’s the problem with ultimatums.

They can backfire.

So far, mine hasn’t.

SLASH: I love you, too

Caught in two minds, I’m staring at my screen, weighing up the risk of asking my husband if I can ring him, when my bedroom door is eased open. Instantly, I hit the side button to turn my phone off. As the lock is flipped and steady footsteps are accompanied by the light clink of boot buckles, I hold my breath. The middle of the night visitor approaches the crib.

Peeking out the side of my covers, I see an arm extend.

I freeze, except to inch my way under to pillow to grasp my handgun.

If this interloper so much as breathes on Garrett, I will fill them full of lead.

I would recognise the owner of the hand that strokes my son’s face anywhere.

Fingers that bear individual letters.

Fists that spell out GOOD NITE.

The ecstasy that has been wrung out of me by that man’s touch is immeasurable. Sensing his intentions, I relax. Zeke means no harm to my son, and he immediately confirms that when he places a stuffed phoenix at the foot of the mattress. My emotions were already a mess after my text conversation with Slash. Seeing Zeke acknowledge Garrett is my wildest dream come true.

I’m worried that he’ll leave if I reveal that I’m awake.

It’s the only thing that stops me from clambering out of bed and throwing myself at him. Months and months of misery, of mourning, of missing him, could come to an end instantaneously. My heart will heal. My life could return to normal.

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