Page 222 of Seizing Control: Part One

A new charm on my bracelet snags my attention. Turning my hand in front of my face, I admire the phoenix that wasn’t there when I went to sleep. The detail in the craftsmanship is distinct. Zeke’s touch is clear in the quality artistry. I’m not sure of the meaning behind the pendant, unlike the straightforward significance of the previous three charms he created for me.

An alien head, a scalpel, and a cherub.

The phoenix doesn’t hold any obvious importance.

Is it a clue that I can use to reach out to him?

“What the hell are you doin’ up? It’s barely dawn.” Nadia’s tone is full of surprise as she pauses at the head of the stairs. I bite back a groan as her presence confirms what I already suspected—I’m the only person aware that Zeke has been here. “We tried to give you a good night’s sleep.”

I’m not lying when I tell her, “I’m feeling really rested.” The exact reason for my refreshed state doesn’t need to be explained. Despite that, I figure that I should remove the incriminating evidence left behind. Threading my arms through the sleeves of my robe, I pull the sash together. I hold my robe closed, and brush one hand over my hair. “Can you keep Garett entertained while I shower?”

“Of course.” Nadia narrows her eyes at me. “Why are you actin’ all shifty?”

“I’m not.”

“Mmmm hmmm.” My best friend makes a face at me. There’s a glimmer of suspicion in her gaze that grows brighter when I feel my face flush. “Go and wash away your sins, Anna—then you and me are gonna have a little chat. I won’t allow secrets... ’specially when they are so obviously dirty.”

“Shut up, Nads.” I press my lips together when I realise what I’ve done.

“That wasn’t a denial...”

Without waiting for Nadia to gloat, I step back into my bedroom. I flip the door lock, the ensuing cackles from my best friend tolerating me to her lingering presence in the hallway. Her amusement at my expense would be funny if my initial excitement at Zeke’s re-emergence from the grave wasn’t being replaced with a cold, hard dose of reality.

My first love faked his death.

He left me to mourn him.

I swallow down the bile that surges into my throat as I remember the sight that broke me during his rudely interrupted funeral. The leg. The boot. My heartbreak. The way I struggled with cutting and suicidal ideation after his loss. If I hadn’t ended up pregnant, the chances of me still being alive right now are slim.

My disbelief in the initial aftermath was right.

I was tricked into accepting his death.

Slash abandoned me.

Zeke left me.

“Goddamn it,” I mutter. Blowing out a huff of air, I tilt my head backward and blink slowly. “Not going to cry. I am not going to cry.”

In front of the mirror, I brace my hands on either side of the basin. Joy spreads through my chest at the knowledge Zeke is alive, at the same time as a burning hatred floods my stomach me at the realisation I’ve been deceived again.

Lies. Secrets. Abandonment.

Trapped between two competing reactions, I stare at myself in the rectangular sheet of glass. Stress makes me look tired. The strain of my life deepens the fine lines fanning out from my eyes. My dimples, once prominent, are barely perceptible. As happy as I am to have Garrett in my life, I can’t say that his arrival hasn’t been without drama. It’s not even the sleepless nights and the steep learning curve that came from becoming a mother overnight, that’s been the easy part.

Sure, I’m tired.

That’s manageable, though.

I’m worn down.

Worn out.

From mourning one man and worrying about another.

Slash still hasn’t phoned since he laid down his decree for Garrett to be sent to a hotel. I texted him to alert him that I’d cajoled everyone left behind into going against his order, taking as much responsibility as I could. While he hasn’t punished them for it, I’m positive he plans on it when he returns home.

He should be back within days.

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