Page 213 of Seizing Control: Part One

My accusation is unfair.

I know it is.

Lilianna Hudson blames herself for the carnage the Shamrocks have faced over the past five years. I don’t agree with her assessment, but fucked if I won’t use her guilt to get my way on this. Living with a countdown clock in my head reminding me that time is running out before Lazarus returns is one thing. I’m barely withstanding that pressure. Existing with a constant manifestation of my mistake in letting Beatrice Du Bois get within striking distance of my wife is unfeasible. I can’t make my duchess love me most if she’s continuously faced with the consequences of my past weaknesses.

The kid needs to go.

Before my duchess gets any more attached.

“Do you hear me, wife?”

The coldness in her tone almost shakes my certainty. “I hear you.”

She ends the call without another word.

I pass the handset back to Cub.

He looks at me, eyebrows raised, as he waits for my order.

“There’s been a baby left with Everett... need a nurse and prospect sent over the deal with it. Also need feelers put out to find Bebe Du Bois—urgently.”

“Consider it done.”

As he moves away from me, I catch a gleam of judgement in his gaze. I grab hold of Cub’s shoulder and force him to turn around to face me. His attention darts everywhere but at my eyes when I ask, “Got somethin’ to say?”

“Nope.”

“Good... ’cause this’s my business, not the Shamrocks, so I’ll deal with it how I see fit.”

“Sure.” Cub’s cynicism is hard to miss. He finally locks gazes with me. We peer at each other, his censure growing as my temper gets the better of me. Enraged by his disrespect, I glower down at Cub. Instead of shrinking away from me, he rallies to shrug free of my grip. “Can I suggest you call in Gabriel on this—we’ve uncovered nothin’ so far, despite months of lookin’.”

“Fine... just ensure he keeps it in house.” I hesitate, trying to work out how best to word my next request without setting off his suspicions. It’s been hard enough throwing Hunter off the scent since he walked away from his patch to investigate our VPs untimely demise on his own. Lazarus has made it clear that he’ll poach any of my club brothers as he sees fit. I don’t need my Tech officer joining forces with my bloodhound of a younger brother if he begins to doubt the veracity of Venom’s death as well. “Tell him it’s delicate. No Lazarus interference needed.”

A wrinkle appears between Cub’s eyebrows. “No Lazarus. Got it.”

When an awkward silence dawns between us, I repeat my earlier demand, “Got somethin’ else to say?”

Cub rubs the back of his neck, then he nods. “Yeah... didn’t like the way you manipulated Cherub like that. You hurt her... Venom would never?—”

I don’t wait to hear the rest of his comparison.

It’s unnecessary.

It’s already clear from the chickens coming home to roost that I’m not the better man in this situation. Venom died for his Lily. All I do is lie to my wife and use her grief to torment her. As I trudge through the dense underbrush, my deceptions nip at my heels. Lie after lie. Secret on top of secret. All the balls I’m keeping in the air. The way I pretend that the Slash she’s loved her entire life still exists. I’ve put a good face on things since she came back to me. I’ve fucked her dirty. Loved her soft. Given her every part of me as I’ve fought the urge to rip her heart out of her chest and excise Venom’s existence with one of my scalpels. I’m a master deceiver. A fraud. A chameleon with an unattainable end game.

The truth is I don’t know who I am any more.

Am I Cherub’s saviour or her ruin?

The answer to that question draws closer by the second.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

42

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