Page 208 of Seizing Control: Part One

This will be the first time I’m alone since I left the farm. And that’s only because I put my foot down when Nadia said she’d move into my bedroom in Slash’s absence. With three out of my four brothers and my best friend living with us, the house is full to the brim. Yet, as I allow Crystal to gently tug on my hands to get me moving, I’m confused by the emptiness that consumes me.

No Zeke.

No Slash.

Who am I without them?

As quickly as that thought arrives, a shiver runs along my spine. I look around me, the overwhelming feeling that I’m being watched gripping my psyche. The beautiful garden, the empty driveway, the prospects on the gate. Everything is as it should be.

Still, a sense of foreboding stalks me all day.

As I eat the breakfast Crystal fixes for us.

Endure a movie marathon with Nadia and my brothers.

Cook dinner for us all.

Paranoia continues to get the better of me as I climb into the bed I share with my husband. Clad in the t-shirt he left out for me, I am sleepy as I snuggle into his pillow. My body vibrates with the need to check the window locks and search under the bed for the bogeyman. I refrain from succumbing to the urge, knowing that the prospects have already done their rounds and secured the house. The body cushion Nadia ordered for me keeps me comfortable, the television down low to offer a soothing hum instead of silence.

Still, I can’t sleep.

With a sigh, I roll on to my back and stare at the ceiling.

My phone sits untouched on the bedside table. My husband hasn’t reached out to me yet, not that I expected him to ring tonight. Communication is always fraught with extra risk when the club is on a run. Cub might be a tech genius and the Trinity may be playing offense when it comes to the authorities, but it’s never a good idea to leave a digital track of their movements. The first I’ll hear from my husband is when he reaches the border chapter, and they establish a secure line.

Unless something goes wrong…

I mentally shake free of that menacing thought.

“Nothing’s going to go wrong,” I mumble. Kicking out my leg, the one I use for a thermostat since half of me runs cold and the rest runs too hot, I screw my eyes shut and count backward from one hundred. “Ninety-nine, ninety-eight, ninety-seven?—”

My bedroom door opens.

Nadia pops her head in. “You sleepin’?”

“Nope.” I pop the second syllable to make my annoyance clear. “I’m too restless.”

“I’ve heard masturbatin’ helps with that,” she jokes. I see the question enter her eyes a moment before she says, “I can sleep in here with you, if you want?”

“No.” My answer is clipped. I try to soften it with a mumbled excuse, “I’ve got to toughen up.”

“Well.” Nadia plays off my dismissal with a fake laugh. “Flick that bean then… it’s the only other suggestion I have.”

I roll my eyes. “Sure. That’s what I’ll do…”

She chuckles, a sound of genuine amusement this time. “Let me know how it goes.”

After my best friend pulls the door shut behind her, I use my feet to push the covers to the end of the bed. I pull Slash’s pillow over my face and inhale hard. The scent of his cologne makes my eyes burn. It also makes my clit pulse.

My sex drive has kicked into hyperdrive as my pregnancy has progressed.

The lust that immediately floods me attests to that fact.

Heart racing, I circle my fingertips around my nipples. The thin material, one of Slash’s worn Black Shamrocks MC t-shirts, offers little resistance to my wandering hands as I cup my sensitive breasts. I squeeze them, just enough to make me hiss. My legs part. I snake my hand down between them. The throbbing ache in my clit increases with every figure eight I trace over it.

“Oh, my God.” Rubbing harder, I use my left hand to tweak my nipple. The combination of stimuli, one soft and steady, the other bordering on painful, pushes me to the edge in record time. My thighs tremble. The tell-tale spasm of my inner muscles makes me wish I had something to fill me. As my climax crests, I push two fingers into my pussy and pump them slowly. “God. Yes. Oh. Oh. Yes.” My mind’s eye fills with two familiar faces, the sight of them side by side enough to make me cry. Tears running down my cheeks, I ride out the final waves of my orgasm with their names spilling from my mouth like a benediction and a curse. “Carter. Yes. Zeke. God.”

Rolling on to my side, I use my thumbs to swipe at my tears.

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