Page 200 of Seizing Control: Part One

I hate.

I hunger.

I take.

I judge.

I kill.

My best friend is a lot more complicated.

Eventually, I extract the answer to the problem between us.

“You’re afraid you’ll lose her before I’m resurrected.”

Slash growls.

He aims a punch at my head.

I catch his fist, and pin him in the same position that I trapped him in moments earlier. “Are you gonna yield... or will we continue this dance until I’m forced to beat some sense into you?” Thrashing like a muppet caught in a cyclone, the man-bunned fuckwit tries to stomp my foot. He misses because I’m able to pull my leg away in time. “Jesus Christ, grow the fuck up.”

“That’s rich comin’ from you... tryna pretend like you’re above it all—bet it kills you to learn that I was late because I was too busy fuckin’ my wife to leave on time.”

Four. Two. Six.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

It takes me more effort than it should to keep my fury at his crass statement from reaching the surface. An almost failure that proves I still need to put more work in before I succeed Gabriel as Adjudicator. I was once a braggart, overly confident in my entitlement to Lily’s love. My studies have taught me that I was scared she’d discover I wasn’t good enough for her, so I overcompensated by publicly staking my claim. It’s illuminating to find out that the man I thought was above such emotions is a victim to the same inclinations.

Love makes men vulnerable.

Lily is worth it.

“Yeah, that silence is fuckin’ tellin,” Slash scoffs. “This Yoda act is a bloody farce.”

My grip on his wrist tightens, but I force myself to let him go. “You wanna fight this out? I can send you back to Lily with a busted face, and you can make up a bunch of excuses for it. She might feel sorry for you, cling to you a little tighter for a moment, but the same worries will resurface... so I ask you again. Do you wanna shut up so we can reach an accord, or continue fuckin’ things up with your temper tantrums?”

“I ain’t fuckin’ anythin’ up.” Slash rubs his wrist, then bends and unbends his arm to ease his hyperextended elbow. “My marriage is good. My wife is happy. Everything’s fine.”

The blatant lies dripping from his mouth would be funny if the situation wasn’t so sad.

I can hear everything that goes on.

Lily’s grief.

Nadia’s optimism.

Hunter’s suspicions.

Crystal’s kindness.

Slash’s manipulations.

Listening to my woman through the charm on her bracelet is a sickness. I’m an addict. Finding instant peace every time I hear her voice. It is my salvation. A craving. The actions of a madman. Yet, without the immediacy of the connection, I would have broken already.

My deal with Gabriel would be dead.

Lazarus would have arisen prematurely.

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