Page 156 of Seizing Control: Part One

The timeless lyrics.

The soundtrack to our first dance at my eighteenth birthday.

The night that it all officially began.

The beginning of the end…

As I finish mentally singing the final lyric, I turn so my back is to the wall. Outside the open window, the rooster crows and the farm animals begin to greet the day. I work shampoo into my hair, then rinse it out. My conditioner is left to soak as I shave my legs, then my underarms. I soap up my body, caressing my slightly swollen stomach as I go.

The insult that I hurled at Bebe echoes in my head.

I don’t know the paternity of my baby.

How’s that for karma?

All I know is that I am embracing this new beginning with both hands.

As long as I can find the courage to face Slash today for our first check in with the Trinity.

Deliberately ignoring my anxiety about coming face to face with my husband so we can fake being a happy couple as part of our deal with the guild, I squeeze out a line of toothpaste, then jam the brush into my mouth. Angelis was firm but fair in his request for me to give his son a fair go. The hope I felt after spending time with the old timers quickly dissipated once I was alone, and although I didn’t relapse, it was a close call.

There’s a slight smile on my face as I trace the slight curve of my stomach, once, twice, taking comfort in the only silver lining I have before I work the toothbrush around my mouth.

I’m not sure when I become aware that I’m being watched.

I wouldn’t be able to prove it if I tried.

I just know that I am being observed.

Still, I slam the bathroom window shut, and hurriedly step out of the shower cubicle. Towel wrapped around my body, the end tucked in under my arm, I quickly towel dry my hair. I tie my dressing gown at the waist, and after pausing long enough to put my bracelet and my wedding ring back on, I power walk back to my room to grab my handgun and slide my feet into my biker boots.

My careful trek through the farmhouse yields no results.

I can’t see any tracks in the driveway.

No one has been inside the locked barn.

The animals continue to graze serenely.

My mother’s rose bushes hold the only sign that someone has been here.

There’s one flower missing.

It’s been neatly snapped off.

Recently.

Jesus.

It looks like my sanctuary has been discovered.

By whom…

That is the question.

31

LAZARUS

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