Page 126 of Seizing Control: Part One

“Good.” He tugs me to follow him. “’Cause I needa show you somethin’ when we get to the funeral home—before you go inside.”

My feet grind to a halt at the top of the stairs. “You promised me that you’d let me see him. That was our deal.”

I refused to attend the funeral until Toker said that he’d let me view Zeke’s body if I agreed to come. Since I know that my first love is not dead, I called his bluff. As much as my agreement rattled my cousin, he didn’t try to backtrack on our deal.

Until now…

Heart pounding, I prepare to be let down by the one person who’s stuck by my side.

“I’m not renegin’,” Toker rushes to assure me.

His expression fills with remorse when he sees that I don’t believe him. When my cousin’s eyes gleam wetly and his hand shakes as he tries to light his joint, I suck the inside of my cheek between my teeth and bite down on it. The metallic tang that fills my mouth steadies me. It satisfies my need to bleed for the moment, calms me enough to listen as Toker tries to explain his change of heart.

“If you still wanna see him afterward, I’ll take you in there myself.”

“Promise?”

He extends the pinkie of the hand not holding his joint.

I hook my little finger around his.

“I fuckin’ promise, Cherub.”

As much as I no longer believe in promises, I take Toker at face value.

He learnt a harsh lesson when I was banned from the compound by Zeke.

Discovered that I can hold a grudge like it’s an Olympic sport.

I think that’s why he’s so determined not to let me down this time.

Toker knows I’ll cut him off too if he gives me a reason.

As we make our way down the stairs, I worry the unhealed wounds dotted along the inside of my cheek with my teeth. I need the taste of blood to get through this. It’s the only way I can meet the Shamrocks eyes without breaking.

I mightn’t believe that Zeke is dead.

But they do…

And their grief is hard to stomach.

“Mornin’. Mornin’.” Toker mutters to everyone as he drags me through the people crowded downstairs by the hand. “Mornin’.”

I keep my attention fixed on my feet. On the boots that I once adored. Now, they’re just a reminder that I was once loved, then left for dead. Slash and Zeke chose themselves. They picked their pride over being honest with me. I’m a casualty of their egos—an insult of the highest magnitude when I was always happy to sacrifice my own for their benefit.

It’s hard to see the men I love as the villains in this tale.

But that’s what they are.

Along with my Dad...

When we step down into the garage, Toker gestures to Zeke’s bike. “I put the sissy bar on for you.”

The insert my ex-fiancé had made for the back support is custom.

A chrome, black, and blue depiction of Venom and She-Venom.

It matches our tattoo.

---