Page 204 of Making Choices

I thought the worst had been done to me.

Turns out, the universe has more devastation to rain down.

“Sweet thing.” Zeke catches my wrist before I can pound on the steel. Jerking out of his grip, I wrap my arms around my middle and stare at the floor. If he wants to hit me with a metaphorical knockout blow, he won’t have to try too hard. I’m teetering on the edge already. “Metukà shelì, look at me.”

Shaking my head, I screw my eyes shut.

The shivering that rakes through me is embarrassing, yet I can’t bring myself to care.

What’s one more humiliation on top of all the rest?

The world tilts, then rights itself. It takes me a second to realise that Zeke’s swept me into his arms and is holding me against his chest. My head lolls onto his shoulder and I breathe deep, determined to inhale his scent one last time. When he kicks one of the chairs out from the table and sits in it, I expect to be put back on my feet. Instead, Zeke lowers me to his lap and clutches me even tighter.

“I didn’t know,” he tells me sadly. “About the ritual. About the baby clause. None of it. Far as I knew, my deal with Gabriel was all the payment they demanded. Turns out, they’ve pulled a good ol’ bait and switch on us.”

“Crystal has to take on an official role. Slash is being shoehorned into a Trinity soldier. The Shamrocks are now basically an arm of the Trinity. I’m just a broodmare. Probably got off the lightest of us all.” The way Zeke’s arms contract around me tells me that he doesn’t agree with my assessment. “Better than twenty-five to life in prison for a crime I didn’t commit—which is obviously part of your deal with them?”

“No. That is part of somethin’ different all together.”

“Why won’t you tell me what’s really going on?”

“It’s easier this way.” He rests his chin on the top of my head. “Would rather keep things from you than lie to you.”

Every ounce of adrenaline deserted me when Zeke told me to get out, yet I somehow manage to deflate further after his admission that things are being kept from me. It should hurt. It probably will when I take the time to think about it later. Right now, though, I am numb. Emotionally spent. Mentally drained. I couldn’t muster a fight if my life depended on it.

“I’m sorry, sweet thing.”

“Me, too. None of this is right—but you can’t hate me for doing my best to keep you alive.”

“You love him.” When I go to move off his lap, determined to put space between us before he tears strips off me for my disloyalty, Zeke keeps me anchored on him. “I’m not judgin’, I’m just sayin’.”

“It’s different but equal.” After a prolonged exhale, I bite the bullet and tell him the truth as I see it. “If you hadn’t left me after the baby, none of this would’ve happened. I’d still be blissfully unaware of Slash’s feelings for me… and mine for him.”

“Figured as much.”

The silence that dawns is dense.

It’s dank and heavy.

A cloud of tension that grates on my raw nerves.

“So, what happens now?”

“Now?” Zeke shifts underneath me. His breath blows over the top of my head, then rushes down my neck when he nuzzles my cheek with his nose. “Now you let me apologise for the shitty things I said—”

Turning in his embrace, I press my finger to his lips. “And after that?”

“After that, you go home to your husband and you do your best to make a baby with him.”

“You’ll hate me.”

Zeke manhandles me until I’m sitting astride his lap, facing him. He grips the nape of my neck and brings my forehead to his. “Will never hate you—even though I know it’d spare us both the pain that’s comin’ our way.”

“Again with the riddles.”

“The riddles give you plausible deniability, sweet thing.”

As much as I’d like to argue the point, I know our time together is coming to an end soon. Moving down his thighs to give myself enough space, I gather the hem of his ugly green jumper and the t-shirt he’s wearing under it and pull them over his head. He lifts his arms so I can strip them off, then I stand to tug his sweatpants and briefs down his legs. He’s hard. His thick cock juts proudly in the air as I shove him back into the chair and drop to my knees in front of him. I slide my palms along his strong thighs until I reach his length. With one hand, I work his shaft, the other cups his balls.