Page 165 of Making Choices

I turn to face him. One eyebrow arched, I ask, “Yes?”

“We... I...” he trails off.

We gaze at each other for a drawn-out moment. In his expression, I see apology and worry. Love and regret. As much as the sight makes me want to cut him some slack, I refuse to bend first. They’ve all hurt me, yet Toker going along with Zeke’s ban probably wounded me the most.

He’s my only cousin.

More than that, he’s someone I’ve always idolised as the epitome of loyalty.

To have that faith broken so easily was as eye-opening as it was heart-breaking.

The unyielding resolve that he sees in my face makes him flush red, then look away. “Isaiah’ll be here shortly.”

“Thanks.”

When I move to follow Nadia, he follows me. Taking hold of my wrist, Toker tugs me to a stop. “Cherub.”

“Either get to the point, Toker, or leave me alone.” Glaring up at him, I snap, “I mean, that is everyone’s forte lately.”

“What are you doin’... like what’s your plan here?”

“No plan.” Eyes burning, I rub my nose with the back of my hand, then I bite the inside of my cheek to stop the tears that are trying to mount a sneak attack from falling. “I’m just having fun.”

“Fun?”

“Yep.”

My heart races and a lump wedges in my throat when Toker blinks once and nods. When he doesn’t say anything else, I wrench free of his grip. It takes every ounce of control I have not to break into a trot as I force myself to walk as sedately as I can inside Slash’s house.

Toker’s Harley starts up.

His engine rumbles for a minute, then the sound disappears into the distance.

Reaching the staircase, I plonk down on the bottom step and bury my face in my hands.

How is this my life?

Zeke cut a deal with my father to leave me.

Slash hates me for not loving him most.

Sander’s floundering.

Dad’s stolen my trust.

Toker’s pulling away from me in favour of the Shamrocks.

Seems like everyone I love is hellbent on destroying me... the question now is whether I wait for them to finish the job off or cut them off first.

I guess, sometimes self-preservation synchronises with misery.

The misery of loving two men at once.

The self-preservation needed to survive their punishment for it.

35

SLASH

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