Page 22 of Making Choices

The television flickers to life and I flip through the channels until an old episode of Friends comes up. Slash and I share the same taste in movies, TV shows, and books. We’re usually reading the same book, taking it in turns to choose, even though he’s normally finished before I’ve reached halfway. The same goes with shows. If we’re not binge watching something together, we’re re-watching an older sitcom and comparing notes.

“Do you reckon this show is playing somewhere in the world twenty-four/seven?” I ask once I’ve tossed the remote onto the table and straddled his backside.

“Yep.” He moans when I start working my fingertips into the base of his neck. “Pretty sure it’s like in the constitution of the new world order.” We lapse into silence until I hit a particularly tight area and Slash’s entire body shudders. “Fuckin’ keep workin’ me like that and I’ll drag you down the aisle before Venom can.”

“I’d like to see you try,’ I tell him with a chuckle. “Pretty sure Zeke’s been planning our wedding longer than I have. He’ll beat you with pure logistics.”

5

SLASH

“You shouldn’t be so smug.” My mouth has a mind of its own, spouting bullshit before I can think it through. “He’s not the only man capable of plannin’ things with you.”

Every muscle in my body is on fire from Cherub’s touch. Every few minutes, I have to shift my hips to stop my hard-on from digging into the carpet. I’m not sure why her proximity is getting to me today when this isn’t the first time she’s given me a massage or joked with me about my piercings. All I know is I’m heading into dangerous territory and need to get a hold of myself before I fuck things up with my two closest friends.

“I don’t know,” Cherub quips with humour in her tone. “He’s probably got a secret Pinterest board with the whole thing planned out. You’re quick off the mark, but that kinda head start seems impossible to beat.”

Her joke reminds me that she sees me as nothing more than a friend is enough to dent my pride. It’s not like she’s being rude or flippant. She’s not taking what we have for granted. I know she loves me in her own way. The fact is Cherub doesn’t see me as a viable partner because she doesn’t see anyone other than Zeke in her future.

It’s a bitter pill to swallow.

It’s also reality.

Venom claimed Cherub the day she was born.

I know because I was there.

I watched the sullen, rage filled boy I already called my brother morph into someone else the moment he laid eyes on her.

Tiny, pink, and wailing. Insistent on making her presence known after sharing her birth with a twin brother. From her first breath, Cherub had howled. Brutus had tried to soothe her with a bath. Her mother had fed her. My mumma had bounced her. While Sander seemed happy to accept everything they had to offer, Cherub was vocal in her discontent.

As her only cousin, Toker had held her first, and she’d calmed down a little.

I’d been given a cuddle and she’d latched onto my thumb with her strong fist, even though she still cried.

It took Scarlett and my mumma to talk Venom into holding her. Eventually, after watching me with her, he’d given in. It had been funny to see the boy I knew to be fearless about everything else so awkward and uncomfortable as he arranged his arms to support her head and little body.

Every ounce of humour I felt evaporated as he held her.

For the first time, Cherub stopped crying. Her screwed up face smoothed out. Her eyes opened and she stared at him with complete calm.

And that was it.

He finally had a purpose.

My mum and Cherub’s had done their best to fill the void left by Venom’s absent mother, even though they had their own busy families. They organised his birthday parties and took him to school when Hades was on a run. He spent more nights in my room than he did his own. We shared toys. We shared meals. We shared clothes until I grew too tall.

We never shared Cherub.

She was his.

Sure, she loved me and Toker. She loved her brothers. Her parents. My parents. Her aunts and uncles. The Shamrocks. She loved everyone connected to the club. It was simply different to the way she loved Venom.

Her unconditional acceptance gave Venom someone to call his own.

His unwavering presence gave her someone to trust implicitly in the whirlwind that is the club.

Now, it’s up to my heart and wayward body to remember that this shit was set in cement nearly twenty-three years ago.

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