Page 184 of Making Choices

“Yes, it will.”

I swallow deep, then scan the other people in the dining room to see if they’re as shocked as I am. Angelis’ face has drained of colour. The bikers crowded around us, including Slash next to me, display classic signs of disbelief. Crystal is placid, apparently in the loop longer than everyone else.

“Did you know?” Hunter asks when my gaze meets his.

I shake my head. “Did you?”

“Of course.” He frowns and his expression fills with confusion. “I figured it out when Alex was sentenced. No one else could’ve managed that—not with Joseph’s connections. It had to come from the top... above the justice system itself. Figured you must be in on the secret since you work closely with him and his—”

“Hush,” Angelis tells his youngest son. “Your Mumma’s tryna have a conversation here.”

At his father’s admonishment, Hunter rolls his eyes. “My whisperin’ doesn’t seem to be holdin’ them back any.”

I return my attention to Crystal and her brother. They’re chatting away at a mile a minute. Catching each other up on the lives they’ve led during the more than thirty-five years they’ve been separated. It’s strange, seeing Crystal as someone’s sister, hearing her talk of another life, and it reminds me how easy it is for people to live a lie.

The ability of humans to adapt their reality is mindboggling.

We are the ultimate chameleons.

Changing from skin to skin in our desire to survive.

Usually in the name of love...

As I finally allow myself to think about the predicament I find myself in, I vow that I’m going to try my hardest to ensure the men I love escape this craziness unscathed. Because as much as Zeke’s situation is the most physically dangerous, I’m cognisant that his solution is playing into Slash’s greatest fear.

He was second best once before.

It cost him his pride and his hope.

If I allow Zeke to play this scenario out in the way I think he’s going to, then Slash’s heart will pay the price for my ex-fiancé’s freedom.

Now that I am awake to the truth of his love for me, I can’t allow that to happen.

Whether I’m ready to admit it out loud or not, I wasn’t lying when I told Dad that I would do anything to save Zeke. What he doesn’t know—what no one else knows—is that I’d also risk it all to protect Slash. The love I feel for the big man is equal but different. Deeper almost than the bone-crushing intensity with which Zeke claimed my heart and I his, my affection for Carter Hudson is elemental. Fundamental. Primordial. He’s part of me in the same way Zeke is—and I would literally die for Zeke if it ever came to that.

Except I wouldn’t die for Slash.

I’d never have to.

He’d die with me.

As certain as I am that Zeke would set the world on fire to protect me, I am equally certain that Slash would set himself on fire for me. He even said as much the night of the Apologies to Medusa concert. I can feel it in the way he refuses to let me break alone. The way he chooses to hurt with me. The way he offers me a safe harbour when I finally shatter.

His hand cuffing my throat is the ultimate safety.

It’s shelter.

Asylum.

Zeke controls me.

Slash shields me.

Where Zeke prefers to disempower me in order to fix me, to rebuild me to as close of a proximation to the original me as possible, Slash does the opposite. He takes me as I am, without recrimination or judgement. He cherishes my defects. Accepts my damage. Loves me in my many variations—be they good or bad.

If I could melt the two men into one, I’d have the perfect partner.

As it stands now, perfection is the last thing I’m likely to create.

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