Page 116 of Creed

I furrow my brow at him, extremely confused because even though I’ve been living with Creed for years, I can’t always tell what’s going on in his head. He could be socially normal one minute, and completely unhinged the next.

“You good?” I ask, fully concerned when his shoulders start to shake as a laugh builds within his chest.

I’m not entirely prepared for the words that escape his mouth when he abruptly cuts off his own bout of laughter. “You have feelings for Collins.”

It’s not a question. He knows.

I squeeze my eyes shut, like it’ll help my situation. I can’t deny it but I won’t admit it either. He already knows but confirming it or saying it out loud could very easily cause me to lose the only family I have.

“Ri,” he whispers, the gentleness in his tone catches me off guard and I hesitate for a moment. His hand shifts from my arm to my neck as he cups the side of it, the touch entirely too tender for how he should be feeling right now. I expected him to yell, scream, and possibly kick my ass for daring to even look at Collins the way I’ve tried—and failed—to not do.

What I didn’t expect was the soft pleading in his voice.

I finally open my eyes when his grip on the side of my neck tightens ever so slightly. His eyes give nothing away as he stands in front of me, waiting for an answer to a question he didn’t even ask.

He knows the answer, he just wants me to confirm it.

So I look at him and speak the truth, hoping it doesn’t shatter the family that we’ve created in one another. But I’d rather be honest than a liar. My voice shakes as I answer, “Yes.”

Creed nods, thinking for a moment. “What kind of feelings, Ri?”

“What do you mean, ‘what kind’?”

“Do you just want to fuck her?”

“I—what?” Yes, but that’s not all. “N-no.” What was that about not being a liar, Riley?

I feel my face and chest heat at the thought of doing just that, though. My heartrate kicks up and I can hear my pulse whooshing in my ears. Have I imagined what it would be like to kiss Collins? To be the one who makes her moan? To learn what she does and doesn’t like when it comes to her pleasure? Abso-fucking-lutely. But is that the right thing to confess right now? Definitely not.

I can tell he doesn’t believe me, but he says nothing. He just stands there, analyzing me. “Is it more?” He asks so softly I almost don’t hear him. I study his face, but I don’t see the anger and resentment that I expected. He looks pensive, sure, but relaxed.

Is it more? There’s no hesitation in my answer this time. “Yes.”

I want to belong to Collins so badly that I can scarcely breathe when I’m around her, but I was prepared to swallow those feelings knowing that she’d never be mine.

A heavy breath loosens from Creed’s chest and shocks the shit out of me when he smiles and says, “Okay.”

I blink at him once. Twice.

“O-okay?”

He ignores my mocked question and says, “You know, she hasn’t said anything to me—yet—but I’m nothing if not observant, Riley Benjamin.” He releases me and backs up a step, running a tattooed hand through his hair, “I see the way she looks at you, Ri. I see it and I recognize the longing in her eyes every time you enter the room.”

I open my mouth to protest, because if he’s going to turn this into one of those fucking overdramatic soap opera moments where he says he’ll step away from her for her own happiness, he’s fucking wrong. She’s in love with Creed. I can see it. No idea if that’s something she’s told him, but I know it’s true.

Creed just smiles wider, his grin flat out cocky. “I see it because it’s the same way she looks at me.”

I sit there dumbstruck because, what do I say? I stare at Creed, eyes wide and my mouth gaping like a damn fish out of water. I’m stunned because he’s acting shockingly cavalier about this massive revelation, and the fact that he’s telling me that Collins looks at me longingly. Like she wants me. Apparently the same way she wants Creed. And he’s okay with it?

“Listen, Riley,” he starts, “This is the twenty-first century. Sure, monogamy still exists for many, but I think the heart is capable of loving more than one person. Not just in a familial way, but romantically as well. Collins is my person. And I’m hers. I’ve always cared about her; she’s always been family. But lately she’s become so much more. All I ever wanted is for her to live her life the way she sees fit. Full of love and happiness. And I think—” he pauses, running his thumb back and forth across his lower lip before a softer smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “I think…you may be her person, too.”

All of the air whooshes from my lungs. My chest squeezes with an overwhelming feeling that I can’t name. There’s a huge lump forming in my throat but I swallow past it and manage to rasp out, the word broken, “Really?”

“Yeah, really.” He breathes. “I know I make Collins happy, and I’m not giving her up for a goddamned thing. But I also know that you make her happy, too. I know how close you two have become in just the last week but what better guy for her to fall for alongside me, than my best friend?”

Creed becomes a blur as my eyes well with tears. This is not how I expected this conversation to go. “Y-you really think Collins has feelings…for me?” I whisper into the space between us, my heart pounding out of my chest. Creed bites his lip, trying to hide another smile as he nods. “Me?” The question is nearly a plea because this all feels so unreal. “Creed,”

I don’t even know what to say. I have no idea what happens next but knowing that someone out there feels for me the way he’s describing has me on the verge of a breakdown. As if sensing my inner turmoil, Creed grabs me by the back of my neck and pulls me into a tight hug and I release the first sob. It’s brief, but my best friend just holds me while I break down. A minute later when I’ve calmed down, he pats my back and gives my neck a squeeze before he releases me.

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