Page 46 of Creed

“Why, Creed?” Please don’t reject me. Reject this. What could be ‘us’.

He’s silent for a moment, then his eyes snap open, darting away and for a second I think I’ve pushed him too far, but then his gaze snaps back to mine and the heat I see there is even more intense. “Because two years ago when you sent that last polaroid, I decided right then and there that if—when I found you again that I had to know what these fucking perfect, pouty lips tasted like,”

The moment he finishes his sentence he closes the distance between us and takes my bottom lip between his teeth, biting down until I feel a pinch of pain before licking over the spot as he releases it.

My brain is so muddled over what he just did that I can’t begin to comprehend how we’ve somehow gone from zero to two hundred in the span of a few seconds, but I’ve been so crazy about this man my whole life that I’m honestly not mad about it. I’ll think about all the reasons this is wrong for us later. Right now, I have no idea what to expect but I’m breathing harder with excitement and neediness humming through my veins. The determination in this rock god’s eyes tells me that Creed obviously isn’t done with me just yet.

He leans in, our noses brushing, “I decided two years ago, that I had to find out what they felt like before making them mine.” The words are nearly a growl as he swoops in, crushing his lips against mine in the most toe-curling kiss I’ve ever experienced in my life. Not that I’ve had many kisses to compare it to.

My fingers grip his t-shirt, fisting the soft material tight to pull myself impossibly closer to him as Creed’s lips move against mine. He nips my lip hard again, causing me to gasp against his mouth. The moment my lips part, his tongue sweeps out, brushing against mine, and demands more access to me, access I eagerly granted.

I fall deeper into him as he wordlessly manipulates me to bend to his will.

Instrument and Musician.

I love that there is nothing sweet or tender about this kiss. No, it’s rough and greedy, all lips and teeth and tongue as Creed ravages my mouth. I am so fucking hungry for this man that I kiss him back with just as much intensity. I meet him stroke for stroke, getting completely lost in all things Creed.

Every kiss, every brush of his tongue against mine is like a lightning bolt zapping straight through my core, all the way to my throbbing clit. My body now worked into a near frenzy, I’m desperate to ease the pressure building between my thighs. Releasing my hold on his shirt, I run my nails up over his pecs, up the sides of his neck and tangle my fingers in the silky raven waves at the back of his head. I deepen the kiss impossibly harder at the same time I grind myself down into Creed’s lap, the friction causing me to whimper into his mouth. The movement serves me proof on a silver fucking platter just how hard he is for me, and the discovery only adds to my passion-drunk haze.

But just like that, the spell we’d fallen under is broken when Creed’s head snaps back, breaking the kiss and gripping my upper arms to gently lift me up and off of his lap, depositing me next to him on the couch.

The cool leather is like a bucket of ice dumped over me, headfirst. Though it does nothing to cool the heat of the kiss but replaces it with the fucking searing embarrassment I feel at the way he just kicked me off of his lap.

I hug my knees to my chest as I stare wide-eyed at the profile of Creed’s stupidly beautiful face in confusion. With a voice that’s now barely there with emotions clogging my already damaged throat, I rasp, “What happened? What’s wrong?” His head drops back against the couch and he presses his palms into his eyes before scrubbing them furiously through his hair. When his hands drop down, he rests his fingertips against my right knee, but he still refuses to look at me.

The only thing keeping me from bursting into tears with shame at his rapid rejection and stark silence is the fact that he’s still touching me.

“Fuck, Collins, that was…” Amazing? Earth-shattering? Soul rendering? “it was… a mistake.”

Okay, not what I expected him to say because, fucking ouch. It would’ve hurt worse if he’d actually slapped me, but he doesn’t stop there. “We…we can’t do that again.” He says without looking at me, his eyes glued to the couch cushion between us.

“What? Why?” I implore, my eyes welling with traitorous tears, my heart stuttering and squeezing at his words.

A mistake.

A mistake.

You’re a fucking mistake, Collins. Dad’s voice echoes around my head, threatening to pull me under and I try to shake it off to remain in the present with my current issue at hand.

“Because, Stardust, you’re?—”

“A mistake.” I whisper absentmindedly, still lost in my own mind with that word he uttered, now whispering to the tune of my dad’s voice.

“—Family, Collins.” He corrects quickly. “Fuck, I would never think you were a mistake. Ever. But you’re my best friend’s little sister, I can’t betray him. I can’t betray the trust between us that makes us family.”

That snaps me out of it. All the foreboding, all the panic, all the echoing voices; they all just…stop.

Is he fucking serious right now?

“Yes, I am.” Guess I said that out loud. I open my mouth either tell him to fuck off with that horseshit, or to argue with him over how cliche his excuse sounds, but he presses a finger against my lips to silence me. “You gonna let me finish before you go apeshit, Stardust?”

I want to roll my eyes, but I nod instead, needing to hear his reasoning behind shattering my heart just now. “What I told you earlier, about claiming your lips? I fucking meant them. But it goes so much deeper than that. When you disappeared on me two years ago, and all I was left with was that fucking letter and that picture of you? It broke something in me. Like something in my brain disconnected and I haven’t been able to function the same. I’m not the same Creed that I used to be. It’s hard for me to discern between right and wrong behavior when it comes to you, Collins.”

I think back to just minutes ago just before he kissed me, and I believe what he’s just told me. Creed used to be so calm and level-headed, his emotions always so carefully controlled, but there was definitely something unhinged in his eyes that never used to be there before.

“I’m not the same person, and there’s this new possessive, obsessive side to me that might have you running for the hills. I’m trying really, really fucking trying to keep that side of myself in a cage so I can do the right thing.”

I blink at him a few times, trying to process his answer that doesn’t really feel like an answer.

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