Page 131 of Creed

And just like that, someone settles between us. It feels different, yet the same. I’m still coming to terms with the fact that I made out with a man; my best friend, but it’s Creed. He’s been there for me from the moment we met and has always shown me some form of affection. What happened tonight was something else entirely though. He kept the kiss going, taking it deeper and I didn’t push him away.

But Creed being Creed found a way to make it all okay with zero expectations and zero judgment if I chose to not explore whatever happened any further than what happened tonight.

I don’t know what I want outside of just wanting Collins, but I know that no matter what I choose, they’ll both take care of my heart, no matter how I choose to give it to them.

Creed lifts Collins until she’s settled herself over my body when I lie down next to her and he grabs his guitar from its case. My mind falls into a sense of peace for the first time in my life with my girl in my arms and the sound of Creed’s soft picking and his low voice singing a new song about his love for a goddess born of stardust and her guardian born from ashes.

Chapter 44

Collins

WEEKS LATER

It’s been nearly a month since things changed for the better between me, Creed, and Riley, and the summer tour is in full swing.

That night shared between the three of us in the hotel was as much of an emotional roller coaster for us as it was an eye-opener. My feelings for Riley are just as great as my feelings for Creed. I’ve easily come to fall in love with each of them equally, but differently. I’ve loved Creed my whole life, but I fell hard and fast for Riley. He’s impossible to not love. They both are.

Creed is wild and unapologetic. He keeps me afloat when the world seems to try and drown me. Riley is as funny as he is sweet and caring. He makes me feel like I could fly, even when life feels so fucking heavy.

They show me so much devotion and I give it back tenfold. They’re the keepers of each half of my soul and I hope like hell that they never let me go.

Riley officially ditched his little bunk and the three of us now cram together onto the bed in the back of the bus. I’m almost always the little middle spoon—as Creed likes to call me— but there are times when I have to pee in the middle of the night and when I come back, it’s to see that the two of them drifted together in their sleep.

The first time it happened, I couldn’t help but grab my polaroid and snap a photo of the two of them cuddled up together. I wasted no time in taping it to the wall, adding to the growing collage of photos I’d taken during my time on tour with Dark Sins.

It’s probably my new favorite to join the wall. Something about the sight of their arms and legs tangled up together did funny things to my brain and it made me crave more.

I don’t think they realized it the first few times they did it and I certainly didn’t mind. I’d just pick if I wanted to be the big or little spoon on either end of them and settle in.

Watching my boyfriends kiss was probably single-handedly the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life. They haven’t tried anything together since that one night but it was never awkward between them. I know Creed is no stranger to touching Riley, but I’ve noticed Riley showing that affection right back lately, sometimes accompanied by lingering glances and I feel like there’s something hidden deep down that begs to be explored.

I thought things would’ve been weird when we broke the news to Bear and Ayla that the three of us are together, but Bear looked completely unsurprised and Ayla was just happy and sobbing, saying that Creed could finally shut the fuck up about wishing I was there with him since I’m actually here and with him now.

There’s been nonstop buzz in the tabloids and on social media though, ever since that first concert a month ago when Creed kissed the fuck out of me on stage. Everyone is dying to know who the mysterious girl is who’s claimed Creed’s heart. With all the positive floating around, there’s also plenty of negative coming from jealous fans, but nothing overtly threatening that security would be worried about, according to Creed.

It’s also been suspiciously quiet from Guy. According to Lachlan, he’s gone radio silent and hasn’t sent so much as a crude text in weeks. I’d like to think he just gave up, but that man’s obsession and need to cause me pain drives deeper than anyone around me knows. I’ve been hesitant to leave the bus to go anywhere because of my suspicion. I’m already cautious in keeping my identity hidden from the public eye but I’m afraid I’ll be taken away from this beautiful life I’ve found in my two men if I even dare to step outside.

Unfortunately, I broke down into a dissociative episode about a week ago when I thought I’d seen Guy standing outside of a coffee shop where Riley had taken me to get breakfast. He had security sweep the surrounding perimeter while he took care of me.

Luckily, I didn’t respond with violence at his touch like last time when I’d clawed his face—which now bears the remnants of two faded pink scars beneath his eye. I feel guilty every time I see them, but he just kisses me and tells me he loves them. This last episode he said it looked like I had just zoned out of reality, so he pulled me into his lap to make it look like we were just snuggling up until I came out of it. I’d almost told him I loved him right then and there with the way he took care of me.

He's such a patient and kind human being and it’s one of my favorite things about him. No matter how stressed or anxious I feel, he’s right there to wait it out or pull me out of it with nothing but sweet kisses and tender touches.

That same day Creed had been running through the set list with the new guitarist, Blair, and Bear helped to get him caught up on the newest songs. He’s amazing, by the way. Blair, I mean. We met him the following morning when we got back to the buses to head out for the next venue.

We got to know him a little more when we stopped for lunch, and I have to say he fits in so seamlessly with the other guys.

Blair is right around Riley’s height and build, and has a curly wolf cut that suits his personality so well. Multiple piercings line his ears and a black double nose hoop in one nostril. He’s got scattered traditional black tattoos covering every bit of skin that isn’t covered by clothing. Don’t even get me started on his wild mismatched eyes; one is a bright grayish blue while the other is a deep brown. His style fits in with how the other band members dress, maybe with more of a feminine flare but he makes it seem masculine though.

Creed was a little concerned at first that I’d try to add a third man to our little throuple with how smitten I was with Blair, but the way I dragged him into the bus and rode him until he had no choice but to come inside of me had him quickly erasing the thought.

I also reassured him that I am perfectly happy with the two beautiful men in my life. It also helped that we found out that Blair is as gay as the day is long and so proud of it. Safe to say, Creed is no longer worried about Blair snatching me away from him.

I can’t say the same for my brother, though.

Asher finally came home and joined us on tour about two weeks ago and Blair hasn’t taken his eyes off of Asher the entire time. Ash hasn’t noticed, or at least I think he hasn’t. When I caught up with my brother just before the tour started, he was completely off the table for any kind of dating or love. Dani completely ruined him and I could fucking choke her to death for the way she shattered my brothers heart.

Asher is so different in so many ways, but he’s also the same in all the ways that count. He’s still fusses over me and Ayla, getting extra protective when the crowds get too wild during the shows. He cheers so damn loud when I get to go onstage that I can hear him screaming from backstage. I’ve toned down my costumes for that very reason, much to Creed and Riley’s dismay.

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