Page 6 of Big Gruff Cowboy

The next few hours pass enjoyably as the girls and I chat about book boyfriends. When Dotty laments men like that don’t exist in real life, Evie insists she’s living with a man who reminds her of a real-life hero. The more she talks about Greer and the way he loves her, the more my heart aches. Maybe that’s why I lost count of how many sips of wine I had.

All I know is that eventually Sadie and I are alone. Only the floor of the bakery tilts a teeny bit whenever I take a step.

“Why don’t you crash here tonight?” Sadie asks, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

She’s so sweet. So sweet and good. But she has dark circles under her eyes. I don’t think my friend sleeps well. I hiccup. “Walsh—Walsh. Walt! That’s his name! He worries. I should go.”

“You’re in no shape to drive,” Sadie says.

I snap my fingers at her. “You don’t have to be a shape to drive.”

She blinks. “Yeah, let me look at your phone. I’ll call Walt for you. How does that sound?”

I wave her away and lean back against the kitchen counter. The kitchen portion of the bakery is pretty and clean, painted a cheerful yellow. “Do you have any more of your donuts? I think I need more donuts.”

She pauses. “Yeah, we’ll have a donut while we wait for Walt. Where’s your purse?”

“In the lobby,” I tell her as I hop up on the counter and sit. My legs dangle off the edge and I swing them, watching the way the floor likes to tilt. “You have a very wobbly building. You should get that checked.”

“Oh, I will,” she calls over her shoulder as she picks up my phone. I can see her in the dining area. It has red, round tables with chairs. Everything Sadie puts together is cute and perfect, like a little dollhouse.

She says a few words into my phone before she hangs up. Then she comes back to the kitchen where I’ve been waiting. She passes me another donut just like she said.

I beam at her. “Your donuts are almost as good as cowboys!”

She pushes a cup of coffee toward me. “Glad to hear it. Try sipping this.”

I take a sip of the black liquid. It’s bitter on my tongue, but I like the way it makes the donut taste sweeter. “He kissed me. On my forehead. Right here.” I point to the spot. If I close my eyes, I can almost feel his soft lips there again. It was the nicest feeling.

“Yeah?” Sadie says.

I eat my snack quietly, thinking about Noah. Minutes pass. Maybe hours. It’s hard to know since the numbers on the clock keep shimmering. “I have a deep, dark secret I can’t tell anyone.”

Something chimes. Maybe a phone. Doesn’t matter. I have secrets now. Secrets no one can know.

“You don’t have to tell me your secrets, sweetie,” Sadie says softly. Footsteps sound, but she isn’t walking. Weird.

“Are you ready for it?” I ask, taking a deep breath. This is the scariest thing I’ve ever done.

“Why don’t you take a night to think about it? Then you can say it in the morning,” Sadie tells me.

I open my mouth and blab anyway. “Noah Maple is the prettiest cowboy I’ve ever seen.”

“Aww, darling, that’s about the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” Noah says from his place in the kitchen doorway.

“Oops,” I murmur. “I think I just spilled the beans.”

Chapter 4

Noah

Walt and I haven’t said a word to each other since I came into the house. Lizzy left with her friend a few minutes ago, and now it’s just the two of us.

We have dinner together at least once a week. Sometimes, twice. I wasn’t lying when I told Lizzy I was invited. I always have a standing invitation at Walt’s place. Just like he has one at mine.

We became friends years ago. I was an angry teenager in need of a guide. He was a grieving widower in need of someone to mentor. Somehow, the two of us bonded over a shared love of reading.

I’d spend hours in his bookshop, reading as many volumes as I could. It didn’t matter what I was reading. I just wanted to be reading and not thinking about the painful memories that haunted me.

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