Chapter 3: Corinne
Alexandra finds me on the kitchen floor and I don't feel bad that she has to clean up both the charred pizza and my broken soul. "I think you should tell me what happened here," she says between pursed lips. "I'm not sure I understand how you not only burned a pizza that I've seen you make a hundred times but also got a date with a man that I swear I've heard you say you hate a hundred times."
Wow. She's so pushy. Now I think I hate her. "I'm going to trade the two of your names out in that sentence," I bemoan from the floor. "Instead of 'I hate Ryker', it's going to be 'I hate Alex' from now on." I suddenly realize that our ceiling is one of those popcorn ceilings and I have the urge to scratch it, just to see what's underneath; it was something I always wanted to do as a kid. We're only renting this house, but I'm sure the owners wouldn't appreciate it if I gave into my sudden desire to scrape off their ceiling.
"Ryker's pretty hot, so I'm glad we're done hating him, frankly." Alexandra ignores my claims that I hate her. Good thing, too, because I never could. We go too far back for something so small to come between us. "You've done a lot worse in the past. Do you remember Rick?"
I lift my head to look at her and see that she's throwing my charred baby in the trash. The whole thing is an affront to me as a person. "You wound me, Alex. I've done nothing but love you like a sister since we met and now you insult me and you throw away my pizza." My best friend is a blonde bombshell, but she's also breaking my heart. It makes me wonder for a second if pizza addiction is real or if I'm just getting hangry.
She blinks at me with slow, disbelieving contempt. "If you want to dig it out of the trash and eat the fire-roasted pepperonis off the top, be my guest." Alexandra is a gem, but I'm not going to go sifting through the trash at her behest. "And you did not treat me as a sister back in the third grade. If I remember correctly, you threw a dodge ball at my head." She announces in a singsong voice that reminds me of a Disney princess.
This time I narrow my eyes at her and lower my head back to the ground slowly. "I think you're misremembering the part where you tried to steal my third-grade crush, Noah, but it's fine, we don't have to bring him up if you don't want to." She conveniently never brings up the part where I asked her to pass him a note asking if he liked me, but instead she signed it 'love Alexandra' and pretended that it was from her. But I'm over it now. We haven't fought over a boy since then, even though Noah grew up to be a certified hottie. In high school, we made a pact that neither of us would pursue him. It helped that he came out of the closet after graduation, but we've both kept to the pact anyway.
Since it's clear that I'm not going to drag myself off the floor, Alexandra joins me. She leans up against the oven for support and begins rubbing my shin affectionately. My love language is physical touch and she obliges. "So what's up, Corinne? Why are you and Special K going on a date? I thought you hated him. I mean, I know you've always liked him deep down, but you hate him. So what happened?"
I figure now is the time to come clean and admit to the misdeeds that have brought me here. Groaning loudly, I cover my eyes and explain the whole convoluted story about how I pumped my brother for information about Ryker's schedule after she told me that he was Shane's partner. "It was in your best interest, Alex. You two weren't going anywhere. You just kept texting all the time. I'd look over to say something to you and you'd be all text-y text-y McTexterson. I wanted you guys to take the next step and you were too shy to ask him out and I couldn't just go to the fire station and tell him to do it." Well, I could, but it was too much work.
I drape an arm over my face to hide my shame and genius; it's remarkable how often those two things coincide. "Next thing I know, I've got this insane plan to light the house on fire to get Shane over here so he'll ask you out. Except then I remembered that arson is illegal and we don't own the place, so I toned it down a little and decided to sacrifice a pizza. Which, by the way, you owe me $10 for." I decide to slip that part in since this was all for her anyway. She might as well pay me back since I wound up getting the short end of the stick of the whole deal.
"Well, I don't think-"
"Anyway," I cut her off before she can continue responding, "next thing I know, Ryker's here threatening to turn me in for setting the fire on purpose unless I go out with him. A nasty bit of unprofessionalism there, if you ask me. Sounds like somebody was just waiting to get me alone and do something naughty." I would shake my head in disdain, but these hardwood floors are going to give me a headache. "All-in-all, I'm a victim here. I tried to do a good thing and get you a date, and then I got blackmailed by a vulgar, dirty firefighter."
Then, for reasons no one can understand, Alexandra starts laughing. "Corinne, what are you talking about? It just sounds like Ryker likes you and wants to take you out. It seems like he found the perfect moment to ask you and he jumped on it."
Oh, I must have forgotten a key part of this story. Silly me. "I must not have mentioned that he threatened to spank me for breaking the law, Alexandra!" I shout with contempt, probably loud enough for the neighbors to hear. If my eyes had been open, I'd have seen her rolling hers. Unfortunately, I was still lamenting my fate. "What happened with Shane? Tell me this all happened for a reason and he asked you out."
"Yes, he did. We won't be seeing each other tomorrow night like you and Ryker will be, but we'll be seeing each other soon enough." She promises. "I think he said he was free next week. Tomorrow night he's going to help his parents put up a fence on their ranch."
"Good. At least this wasn't all for nothing." I couldn't bear to think about what I would have done if I'd have gone through all of this and Alexandra and Shane hadn't even gotten a date out of it. "How can I get out of this date though? Should I tell Nathan? He can talk some sense into Ryker and explain to him why this is a bad idea and-"
It's Alexandra's turn to cut me off, even though I can't stand it. Who can, though? "Or you could just take your punishment and maybe you'll like it. What's there to fear, Corinne? Ryker's a good guy. He's a little rough around the edges sometimes and he's got that thousand-yard stare that makes you feel like admitting everything you've ever done wrong, but it's kind of hot. You guys can role-play and he can be the cop who pulls you over for speeding and you can-"
"Wow, didn't need that image in my head." I sit up suddenly, shaking my head to get rid of the image of Ryder putting me in handcuffs. The last thing I need is to be fantasizing about him in a different uniform. The firefighter look is already bad enough. He's a hero, he puts out fires, he's a good guy. As if I don't have enough sexy dreams about his current getup... "Fine, I'll go out with him, but I'm not going to like it, Alex," I grumble these words like an old man who's yelling at kids to get off his lawn, but there's no spirit behind them. Probably because at the heart of it, I don't mean them. I'm going to go out with him and I'm going to like it, maybe a little too much...