Page 80 of Knowing Trust

Okay, good, because the last thing we needed was another tunnel-visioned dumb dragon making more problems than being helpful.

Stefanie shot me an amused look and I rolled my eyes, glad we were on the same page at least. She asked for some cookies from the hobgoblin bakery and for me to sleep. Also, the wedding dress catalog as she wanted to see what else I might pick.

I couldn’t hide my shock she would ever want to after what happened, but Colton nodded it was okay. So she needed a distraction?

Yeah, okay, she could pick the damn dress for all I cared.

I told the other guys and they came to visit Stefanie as well. Neldor checked in but wasn’t around really until after I was done with classes Monday.

“You woke two hundred and eighteen thousand and change,” he told me looking wiped. He nodded when I couldn’t hide my shock. “It’s handled. Don’t worry. I knew you were distracted here.”

I felt like I should apologize, but he did, saying he didn’t mean it like that but he was just exhausted. That was more than fair and I easily waved it off.

What I couldn’t wave off?

People talking about what came next for Stefanie and her retirement already. I walked into the third conversation Tuesday morning after training before my classes so I could check on her and about blew my top.

“The only reason I’m not punching you all is you have a barrier up so she can’t hear you,” I seethed. “But this shit needs to stop. Have a fucking heart. She’s—”

“She is the most senior commander, Your Highness,” Talila cut in. “We’re not—”

“I don’t fucking care!” I blasted. “We’re not at war. Fine, we’re still in a state of emergency and too much is going on, but—fuck, Shael is in charge. There, eldest designated.” I stared them all down. “Your unease trickles down. Remember that. The priority is our injured friend. Nothing else.”

“It’s seen as not facing reality by letting it linger,” a different commander commented, holding up his hands in surrender when I shot him a nasty look. “I understand what you’re saying, Your Highness. I just wanted you to know that it’s not about Stefanie, more our ways.”

“Well, our ways got a lot of fairies killed and missed too much shit. So I appreciate you reading me in, but we are doing better and having compassion.”

“It’s still against the regulations of the Faerie Guardians for anyone to not have full wings,” Talila whispered.

“I know that.” I adjusted my neck. “I know that. It’s just crass to have this conversation before the healers even know where her magic is. You’re talking about getting her out the door and we still don’t know the full extent of how she was injured. That’s why I’m so pissed, Commander.” I kept her gaze. “Don’t you hope we’ll be better to you if it happens to you?”

I was glad I made my point and dropped the barrier and headed for why I was even there. I swallowed down my upset when I saw she was awake and working with Calarel to do some basic stretches and movements.

“Are they talking about my retirement again?” she asked me without even meeting my gaze. Steam about came out of Colton’s ears and I was a bit worried on how to answer. Stefanie sighed and focused on me. “It’s inevitable, Your Highness. The wound gets infected if not treated and allowed to heal.”

“You’re not even fully diagnosed yet, so just focus on that and getting better, and everyone can learn a bit more fucking respect for each other. Maybe this planet wouldn’t be such a clusterfuck if everyone did,” I replied. “The way hobgoblins and other fairies were allowed to live. The way we just kick people while they’re down and wounded. I’m done with it. Completely.”

She gave me a sad smile. “Which is why you will make a wonderful queen and I fully support you.” She gave me a moment with that. “But that doesn’t change that I am now against the regulations—”

“Jesus Fucking Christ, Stefanie, you didn’t commit a crime. You probably saved my life. You don’t just boot someone out while they’re still in medical!” I tried to swallow the rest of what I was feeling, but I couldn’t, walking away.

I thanked Cara when she was by the entrance and had crystals for me. Immediately, I made three weather crystals and then went back to Stefanie, focused more on Calarel.

“How is her progress?”

“Good, Your Highness,” she told me. “Very good given her injuries. We should be able to assess her magic by the weekend. She’s also a very good patient—with her mate’s support—and is doing everything we ask.”

“Stubborn dragon,” Stefanie mumbled, looking a bit embarrassed.

“I call mine a stupid dragon all the time, and now it just makes him smile because he knows I only do that because I love him, so be careful with these damn dragons. Izzy’s learning the same,” I warned her, glad when she smiled and we were okay. I let out a slow breath. “I know this changes everything, but the world won’t end if we don’t do it today.

“Let the grass fucking grow under this life-altering shift in your life, Stefanie. Seriously. And I’ve wanted to change some things up anyways, so—there are options besides you’re the most senior commander or just fucking out. You’re also my advisor and old enough to be an elder—we have options. Lots of them. Ones that could be better.”

Tears filled her eyes and she quickly wiped them. “Thank you, Your Highness.”

I nodded and gave Colton a worried look before I moved closer to her. “It wasn’t your wings or magic that helped me keep the fools in line, Stef. I still need you. Please, don’t give up. Don’t just—if you want to step back or retire, then you always have my blessing. I want you happy, but I want you here. I will find a way and figure this out.”

She swallowed loudly and met my gaze, tears trailing down her cheeks. “I don’t know what I want or what to do, Tams.”

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