Page 47 of Knowing Trust

Twenty minutes later we were done, and it had been the worst sex of my life. I stared at the ceiling, and it was so blah that my chest wasn’t even heaving and my heart beat like I’d gone for a walk.

Every cliché bad thing that could have happened did.

The kisses were wet and gross. That had never happened to us before.

Our teeth had bonked together and hurt.

I hadn’t been wet enough and it hadn’t gone well and then been awkward to try to go back to him eating me out to make things happen.

I’d faked my orgasm to make things progress to just get it over with.

I was pretty sure he’d faked his orgasm just to make the disaster end so we could just proceed to the funeral of our sex life. I had no idea how to even handle this with any grace or like what to say.

So in typical Tamsin fashion, I didn’t.

I teleported away with my clothes.

Seriously.

I checked myself in my bathroom and swallowed a hysterical chuckle. He’d faked his finish. There was no finish in me.

“Oh my gods. We suck so bad at sex together that he faked it too,” I whispered, completely mortified for both of us.

How the fuck had we gotten to that point? Seriously?

I quickly freshened up and fled my house so he didn’t try to find me there. The only thing worse than that performance of sex was having to talk about it which he undoubtedly would want to. Neldor was an adult and mature like that.

Fuck no. No thank you, not ever.

My mind couldn’t seem to process what had happened though. We had chemistry! We had amazing chemistry. Always. We had like Fourth-of-July-level fireworks chemistry.

Fine, some level of awkwardness was expected. Of course, it would be.

I decided to cleanse. If there was ever a time that I needed to get out what I was feeling and the negative everything, it was right then. Plus, people had jumped on the idea of expanding the sorbet business to humans. Everyone in Faerie was all about it.

Honestly, it was a bit scary. If I was an evil person, I could easily have exploited their beliefs. I kept that to myself and didn’t even speak such an idea, but it was a bit… Troubling. I would never call their religion or behavior cultish, but it was a bit much.

It was. They needed to see the potential pitfalls. Fine, I wasn’t abusing it, and I hoped no one ever did, but they needed to learn from their mistakes.

Ancients weren’t ever supposed to be the bad guys, right? How had that worked out for them?

But yeah, another lecture for fairies another time. Right then I was the only person who could abuse it and I wasn’t, so I wasn’t going to invite problems or reasons for people to mistrust me. I wasn’t stupid like that.

Instead, I found my security and we went to get a ton of food and I let Ara be in charge of my cleansing.

On the land I’d bought that any supe could hide at with Guardians stationed where we now had farming operations of fruit found on Earth so we could expand. We were starting with dragon fruit, lychee, dates, and passion fruit. They all had a lot of health benefits and weren’t easy to purchase in large quantities.

There had been some back and forth on bananas, but I had shot that down and instead discussed using our magic to help the current banana farmers with the problems they had. Fairies—especially our farmers—had rallied around the idea and especially that I would never screw people over. A team of biologists was dispersed and from what I’d already heard were making progress with… The problem.

Honestly, I had so much going on that I couldn’t keep up with it all. I couldn’t remember if it was a bug or fungal thing. Maybe both?

Earth had a lot of issues, and I had a lot of them in Faerie. Someone was on it, and we would help the farmers and save bananas. That was the point.

Good, because I loved bananas, and they made our sorbet awesome besides for the weirdos like Darby who loved tart.

Weirdos. Everything should always be sweet in my mind.

I got lost in my head and stuffed my face as I grew out the passion fruit plants all over the set-up trellises. It was so beautiful the way it was like decoration. I loved it and how it would be a ceiling of life and hanging food and flowers. I smiled when Ara handed me my earbuds and even brighter when the song was awesome.

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