Page 27 of Knowing Trust

“Yeah, it was amazing.”

“And they would be jerks if they tried to outdo this or replicate our fun like this. So don’t do that to them, okay? Let’s just find new stuff for us.”

He let out a slow breath and nodded but then flinched. His eyes flashed shock, but then he smiled. “Do you have an idea of what you want to try, cream puff?”

“Yeah, this but against the wall with you holding me up,” I admitted with a shrug. No need to deny it.

I liked shower sex best with Darby.

I like being plowed by Hudson on all fours.

I liked Julian sitting me on something and giving me those quick thrusts of crazy.

And apparently, now I liked this gentle, completely full, and overwhelmed sex with Lucca.

Now I just needed the energy to have sex against the wall. Next time?

8

Apparently, this whole semester was going to be about sex because a couple of days later, I met up with Neldor at his request. I knew it was about what we had already started to discuss, I was just shocked at the answer.

“Let me explain, baby doll,” he begged when he saw whatever was on my face.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to cheat,” I mumbled, rubbing my forehead. “My telepathy—after this last power jump, it’s taking energy to keep it off. Sometimes when I go through the portals instead of like my ears popping it’s like my magic turns it back on.”

“Or it’s trying to warn you to do that for security like your barriers, Your Highness,” Ara said gently as she set bags of food down in front of us. “I was in the mood for gyros, so we got those huge ones with the awesome fries.”

“Thanks,” we said together and got everything set up as my security went to eat out in the garage.

I put up a barrier and stared at my food. Of everything I thought Neldor would say to me, I really didn’t think he would demean me and what we could have as just sex.

“Please, please, let me explain,” he whispered, reaching over and wiping the tears that had fallen off my cheeks.

“Sorry.” I sniffled and hurried to try and get myself under control… While moving away from him. “Just thinking of how you said you wanted me because it—I was so easy. It feels like that.”

He grabbed me before I could try and flee or teleport away. “It’s not. It’s not like that at all. I don’t know what you caught, but you got the ending or—” He kissed my forehead and sat me back down, moving food in front of me. “You brought up a lot of good points. I thought about them a lot. I did. I’m a lot of things but not flippant. I’m not flippant with you.”

I wanted to believe that, but sometimes he had been. Fine, time had passed since that, but given what he’d once thought—wanted from me—it wasn’t easy to change gears in my mind.

And heart.

“First of all, if we tried to date in secret, I think that would be the quickest way for us to get outed,” he said quietly when I started eating. “We spend a lot of time together already, and your father is right that I’ve snuck in some dates like when we did the budgets. I realized that was part of the disconnect in my mind because in some ways—”

“We’ve already had a bunch of dates. At least in your mind.”

“At least in my mind,” he agreed with a sigh. “Right or wrong, it’s—this is all complicated. You were right, and it was more complicated than even I saw. I was mixing things, and it was all… I was acting like we were mated and not just…” He shook his head. “I know my limits, and I could keep making those same mistakes if we went out on actual dates.”

I nodded as I started eating. I wasn’t sure what to say and I was hungry. I heard him. I could accept what he was saying, but it sounded weird because those hadn’t been dates.

Was I splitting hairs though?

“But more than that, I want our first date to be real,” he whispered. “If there can be a true time we can be in public, that is what I want to have be our date. And a first date in our world, Tams. A date like you should have. I want you to see Faerie back and at its splendor. That should be our real date, not one in secret.

“Yes, I know I’m nitpicking and trying to convince myself more than reality if I’m also saying we’ve had dates. I know this. I know part of this is my own delusion that this wasn’t our reality at times. I just…” He let out a slow breath. “We’ve lost so much. I want you to gain something.”

“I don’t understand,” I admitted in between bites when he was clearly waiting for me to respond somehow.

“Everything is different in Faerie, Tams. Even the dates,” he explained. “I want to take you to one of the restaurants on the ocean and use our magic to catch our dinner.” He nodded when I froze in my next bite. “Fancy places don’t use menus. Our magic catches dinner and the chefs prepare it right at your table with what you give them.

---