Page 25 of Knowing Trust

He froze in dumping me on the bed, blinking at me half hanging off of him. “Okay, so yeah, I came through the portal and immediately heard that you wanted us to get back to having sex—all the sex—and it killed you that I was being excluded from hot sex times. But it was my fault and I deserve it. I get that.”

“Just that I didn’t know how to bring this up or what to do,” I mumbled, nodding when he did. “So you heard all of my trying to figure out what to say to you and how to handle this?”

“And images. Lots of images of what you’ve been craving and hope happens.” He chuckled when I groaned. “Yeah, so that’s why I jumped you and brought you up here.” He gently lowered me down to the bed as I immediately covered my face. “I’m glad I heard it. I know how difficult it is for you to bring up what you’re feeling, cream puff.”

“Yeah, but I’m trying. I’m really trying and—”

“You are—we are.” He kissed my hands and pulled them away, giving me his kind, Lucca smile.

Lucca Von Thann was a ridiculously attractive man. From the first moment I saw him, I’d lusted for him like any straight woman with a pulse would. But we’d always had so much working against us that I was scared it wouldn’t work out this time too.

I met his pretty hazel eyes and I saw the fear in them that I would reject him, wouldn’t have faith in him that he’d changed. I wanted to have that faith, I really did, but I was wounded too.

“It won’t be like last time, Tams. I’m not that man anymore,” he whispered as he started undressing me.

Fuck, he was too gorgeous. Tall, dark, handsome, and adorable somehow. Over six-six and huge. Broad shoulders, completely filled in, and just muscles all over the damn place.

I’d always thought that, but it was even more so now that he’d stepped up his training. Also, his definition was unreal. People were floored anytime they saw him without a shirt or with shorts on. It was—every inch of him was completely defined, and his body rippled with strength as he moved.

“I won’t survive going through that again, Lucca,” I rasped. “Please? I know you’re different and—please don’t abuse me like you did. Please don’t go back to that bad habit. Please don’t be selfish with me.”

I felt selfish saying it, especially in that moment. I felt horrible and went to turn away.

But he didn’t let me. He cupped my face and made me look at him. I was shocked when tears were dripping from his eyes. “Never again, Tamsin Vale. I swear it to you. I will never—I can’t treat you like that again either. It would break me. Because I love you.” He nodded when I couldn’t hide my shock. “I love you, Tams. It’s real love this time, not… Bullshit.”

I nodded and let him kiss me.

“Trust me to give you what you need, my Alpha, My Queen,” he begged as he finished undressing me. He growled quietly when I nodded again and then kissed up and down my body. His large hands played with my breasts as he licked between my legs. Then he latched onto me and devoured me until I came with a scream.

I thought he was going to keep going, but he was simply staring up at me when I came down from my happy. I blinked at him in confusion.

“I’m always checking in now,” he whispered. “That was the mistake I made. I didn’t think I was being so selfish sexually. You sounded like you were having as much fun as me. I just… I need to check. For me too. To be healthy. To not…”

I nodded like I understood. I thought he was saying so he didn’t go over the line, but I couldn’t really be sure. I hoped that was what he meant because it was what I wanted too. “Can I sit on your face and play with your dick while you eat me out again? I want more loving from my bear before I ride you.”

He groaned and his eyes about rolled up into his head. “Yes, yes, please.”

So that’s what we did.

I nuzzled his dick and gave it a few licks as I stroked him until he finished while he ate me like his favorite treat. I collapsed on him when I couldn’t take anymore.

He chuckled and flipped me around so I was snuggled up next to him, my head on his bicep like a pillow. “That was perfect, Tams. Thank you.” I opened my mouth to say something but he gave me a soft kiss. “Rest. You’re tired.”

Wait… That was it? I’d promised him sex.

Lots of sex even.

And he wanted to take a nap?

I shot up and blinked down at him. “What the fuck? What… Just what the fuck?”

He chuckled but then sighed. “Your reactions are too fucking adorable. Really.” He yanked me to lie back down. “I told you that I won’t be selfish with you anymore. I won’t be. You’re exhausted.”

I frowned and then shot back up. “But you’re also making the decision for me, Lucca!” I got upset and overreacted because it scared me. I felt like we were falling into the past. “I’m an adult too. If I say I want sex and—how can you just overrule me and—”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, giving me a soft kiss as he slid his arm around me. He lowered his forehead to mine. “Jesus, the fear that just poured off of you. I’m sorry. I didn’t—I wasn’t overruling you. I wasn’t. Please, let me try this again, okay?”

I let out a slow breath and then another, realizing he was right and it was my fear, trying to get my heart to calm down. I nodded and then leaned away to see his eyes.

---