Page 69 of Racing Hearts

“Worried?” I repeat, confusion lacing my tone.

“I have to ask,” he murmurs. “Did you do it? Did you kill them?”

“Me?” I snort. “I’m flattered you think I’m capable of murder, though I am sad you think I wouldn’t hide it better, but no, I didn’t kill them, Evan. I would have if they touched my sister, so don’t think I’m a good guy.”

He relaxes, scrubbing at his face. “I had to ask.”

“Pretty boy . . .” I step closer, and his hand drops.

“I’m really tired, Alek. Can we do this later?”

My heart aches, but I nod. “Okay, let me take you home, and we can talk tomorrow?—”

“Can we not?” My heart stops as he looks away. “Can we just not talk tomorrow?”

“What do you mean?” I whisper, panic filling me as my stomach plummets. Staring at his pale face, I have a sinking feeling I’ve lost him. “Are you breaking up with me?”

“We would have to be dating for me to break up with you,” he retorts, his voice filled with venom as he looks at me before he sighs again, his shoulders dropping. “I just need some time to process, and I think we both need some space.”

“This morning—” I start. “I was wrong.” I don’t know what else to say, and when I don’t explain further, he laughs bitterly.

“You want to know why I wanted to show those photos? Not because of what you are doing in them, but because it’s you and I’m so proud to be yours, even if it’s in secret, but you don’t feel the same. You’re not proud, you’re ashamed, and that fucking hurts, so give me space.”

I take one step back, letting him track the movement. “You want space? There, that’s all the space you’ll get from me.”

“Alek,” he snaps, annoyance flaring in his eyes. “You don’t get to control this or order me around. You don’t get to stop me from being hurt or upset. You made the choice to deny us this morning. Now, I’m allowed to make my choice to figure out how I feel about all this.” He waves his hand between us, his voice deadly serious and laced with pain.

He’s right, and I hate it. I step back again, my heart aching something fierce. “Sure, okay,” I respond coolly, calmly, even though my insides are anything but. If I push this now, I’ll lose him and he’ll leave. He’s hanging on by a thread.

“Let me take you home,” I offer, hoping for one more moment in his presence.

He shakes his head. “I’ll walk.” He hesitates, grinding his jaw before he meets my gaze. “Thank you for calling Bones. Bye, Anders.”

He called me Anders, not Alek, princess, or asshole. Anders.

He’s putting space between us, and I hate it. I hate that I ruined the only good thing I had. He turns without another word and wanders away, looking far too lonely and tired.

As I watch him go, I wonder how everything went so wrong.

How could we go from being so happy to being so broken?

THIRTY-THREE

“Two college students’ bodies were found today—” I skip to the next channel numbly. “The deceased are students at Pine Valley.” Hitting the off button, I stare at the black screen. It feels weird to be in my dorm since I’ve been spending so many nights at Alek’s, but I need my own space to think.

While I was being asked the same thing over and over, and then left alone, it was all I could think about—us and how to put it into perspective. Life’s too short to be unhappy, and I don’t want to be unhappy. I like Alek a lot, but I don’t want to hurt him nor myself by loving him. We both need to figure out what we want, and to do that, I can’t see him because when I do, all I think about is him, and nothing else matters but our own little world.

Lally sighs, her head resting on one shoulder. Tommy’s on the other as we sit on my single bed, our legs hanging over the side. “I can’t believe they hung themselves. I mean, they were assholes from what you said, but still . . .”

I don’t say anything about what I uncovered while being questioned. I don’t want to worry my friends any more than I already have.

“Are you okay, Evan? You’re quiet,” Tommy asks.

“Mm.” I can feel them looking at me. They were here when I got back. Tommy escorted Alice home, and then he called Lally. They grilled me as soon as I walked in, but I told them how tired I was, and luckily, they let it drop, but they refuse to leave me, knowing something is wrong.

“I can’t believe they took you to the station. What assholes!” Lally snaps. “If I could, I’d march down there and grill their asses.”

That makes my lips curve. “I’m surprised you weren’t rallying outside.”

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