Page 64 of Racing Hearts

“You’re angry about this,” I murmur.

“I’m not.” He sighs. “I’m just—no, okay?”

Now I know why I was worried, because I knew how he would react. I knew he wouldn’t want this. If I were a girl, would he have the same response?

“This is important, Alek,” I whisper, clutching my phone as he stands and throws his plate in the sink. His back is to me, his hands braced on the counter. “This is a really big deal. They never choose first years for this. It could be what makes my career, and it makes me even happier that it’s with pictures of you . . . someone I care about.”

“I don’t want that many people to see me like that,” he mutters, shame lacing his tone.

“Like what?” I ask as I stand.

“Jesus, Evan, just fucking no!” he yells as he turns, his fists clenched at his sides. “You know what they’ll think, what they’ll all say.” His eyes are wide now, panicked.

Rounding the table slowly, I cover his hands. “Hey, it’s okay. They won’t think anything at all. They’ll be awed by you, just like I am. It’s going to be okay. Can you just think?—”

“I said no,” he snaps, pulling his hands from me and pushing me back in the process. I hit the table hard, rattling the pots as he stares at me. “Can’t you respect what I want? I did it for you, not for everyone else. Doesn’t the fact that I don’t want people to see me like that matter to you?”

“If I were a girl showing those photos, would you care?” I retort, and he freezes but doesn’t reply. “So it isn’t because of what they are, but who took them. Is that right? You think they’ll see my name attached and assume you’re my boyfriend. So fucking what if they do? Can’t I show you off?”

“Just fucking stop.” He pinches his nose. “I’m going to be late for work. Catch the bus or take a taxi today.” He stomps upstairs, and I watch him go.

My hope shatters around me since I just got my answer.

Alek Anders will never want the world to know about us, too scared of what it means.

So where does that leave us?

It leaves me a devastated mess in his kitchen, realizing I fell in love with a man who will never love me the way I do him.

THIRTY

Ishould be at work, but I find myself at the racetrack, watching Sky cut corners and push his car to the limit. He might be an illegal racer, but he’s trying his hardest to become legit and part of a team here in Pine Valley. When he pulls up and gets out, tugging off his helmet, I nod at him.

His eyebrow rises as he waves at someone watching and heads my way, hopping the short wall between us. I lean back into my car as he pushes his sweaty black hair from his face.

“I’ve never seen you here before. You okay, man?” I stay silent, staring at my feet, and he sighs. “Alek, what’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?” I mutter.

“I’ve known you for years, and you’ve never sought me out, so something is wrong and you want advice or a friendly ear. You don’t have any other friends, hence you being here, so spill it. What’s up?”

“Smart-ass,” I mutter.

“No one else could put up with you,” he scoffs, “and since I’m guessing it’s about Evan . . .” I meet his eyes, and he nods. “So I’m right. What did you do?”

“Why do you assume I did something?”

His eyebrow arches again. “Alek, you’re an idiot, grumpy and rude?—”

“Thanks.”

“You can’t speak without putting your foot in your mouth, and you don’t know how to express yourself normally, so I’m assuming you fucked up, and now you’re wondering how to fix it. Am I right?” Sky asks, nudging my shoulder.

“I shouldn’t have come here. You’re an ass.” I push off my car, but he grabs my arm and tugs me back.

“Come on, tell me. That’s what friends are for. I know you don’t like to need or rely on anybody, but you can trust me, Alek. I might tease you, but we’re friends, and I want you to be happy, so talk.”

“Don’t you need to practice?” I ask, my eyes landing on the track.

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